I sat down calmly with Rachel on the sofa while Josh was at work.
I explained my confusion with her and told her that I didn't 100% know whether I liked girls or not. I knew I liked guys of course.
She sat down and openly told me that she was bisexual, and that her last divorce was with her wife Lianna.
I don't know what happened but I saw a glimmer in her eye and I began to see her in more of a romantic way.
I instantly tried to snap myself out of it.
Rachel boldly told me that I needed to talk to Josh about your confused sexuality and that you would like to expirement just the one time.
I thought about it and I'm not going to lie, I was scared shitless of what Josh would think about me if I was to ever suggest I liked girls.
Later on that evening I sat josh down and told him I had to have a serious conversation.
It was hard, for both of us but he openly admitted that 3 years ago he tried with a guy for experimentation and it turned out he didn't like guys.
We came to a compromise that I can try and see what it is like to have a romantic/sexual relationship with a girl but not full fill it all the way as of course I was with Josh and I was not going to leave him for a girl.
It was a huge relief for both of us and I was excited to tell Rachel what happened.
She seemed to be pleased that she taught her son well, to not be homophobic.
A few months had passed and I haven't found a girl to expirement with. To be honest, I wanted to try with someone I trusted but as I left high school, for college, I didn't really have any friends.
Time went by and I just suggested to myself that the time will come and I need to stop looking for it.
One after noon, Rachel called me into the tech room of our house that had all of our gaming equipment and our computer.
"Sweety I'm looking for some beautiful pale blue dresses for us to wear at my friends wedding, wanna help me?" Said Rachel in a sweet high pitched voice.
I agreed to help and walked in to the room. She was wearing a silk vest and shorts pjama set.
I secretly thought she looked really good in the pj set but refused to say anything.
"Come here, sit on my lap" she tapped her leg.
Comfortably I walked over and sat on her lap as if I was about to tell santa what I wanted for Christmas.
She wrapped her arm round my waist as she reached for the mouse, to scroll through some dresses.
She pointed her mouse to one of the tight fitted low cut dresses.
"Ooo I think you would have a lovely shape to go with that dress" she complemented me.
I denied and said that I didnt have much to me, for a skin tight dress like that.
"What are you saying? You got a nice big butt and big boobs! Anyone would be drooling over you" she giggled
I told her that I didn't want to draw too much attention to myself, especially as I wasn't a confident person.
She insisted that we just look at the dress. She played the slide show for the dress and place both arms around my lower waist.
I leaned back, resting my head on her shoulder. I'm not sure whether it was just a habit, or just being a figgit person, but she kept moving her hands up and down my waist.
Not going to lie, it was soothing, but of each time she went up and down, she would get higher and lower.
The sexual tension was too much, to the point my hear was pounding and I felt like I was having a hot flush.
I took of my jumper, exposing the fact that I was only wearing a bra underneath with my shorts on.
She didn't comment, she just continued doing the hand motion.
She finally reached my boobs and started to play with them.
She sat me up, only the slightest and undone my bra.
I played back again as I gripped onto her arms again.
She squeezed them, pushed them together but just after a couple of minutes she made her way down to my lower half.
I sat up off of her, took my shorts and underwear off, then I began to undress her.
I sat back down but this time I sat facing her, on her lap.
The next thing I know, i leaned in to kiss her. Rachel was a really good kisser. I realised that I had a sexual connection with Rachel that I couldn't ignore.
I will spare you the details what happened from there, but let's just say, we had a fun night.
Since then I have decided to keep our relationship private, behind josh's back. I know it's not fair but it has to happen
