The Periods of Being

Chapter XXII

Chapter XXII

     The Blythestone family and Olive are set to leave Sunday evening. Neil called Saturday and insisted they come up a day before so they could have dinner with each other since it might be the last time everyone is together. She didn't like how he phrased it, but he was right. When will an event bring them all together? The Blythestone and Garthen family? It's highly likely it won't happen again.

     Two days have passed since Olive's outburst and since then, her dinners have been served to her room without her asking. She trapped herself in her room for those two days, not even leaving to go outside or to go down to the library. Loneliness hasn't set in yet though, but something told her it would soon.

     Olive makes a slight reminder to thank Julie for her work in getting her a single car. After days of not speaking to anyone but Julie, she needed a single car. The journey to the train and soon to Garthen Manor is a private matter to her. She needs to be alone with her thoughts until she is not anymore. She stands outside at the front of Blythestone to try to savor these moments of being alone as the men work to get the cars packed.

     Mr. Haden, the chauffeur who drove her here, stands with his shoulders tall and her arms behind his back beside her luggage that is being put in the back of the car. Two other cars are parked behind it with footmen working on loading them as well.

     Her family members are not present to watch the men work and Olive is grateful for it. If the footmen pack her luggage fast enough and Julie decides to come out soon, then they'll be able to leave without being seen. She lets out a cold breath of approval at the possibility.

     Their worries for her are as fresh as the wounds on her hands. The way they stared at her and then tried to show their condolences about her recent predicament was harsh and forced. They are family and should show some form of guilt for it, but the way they looked at her as if she was someone grounded down to salt is unbearable. Olive is lost for words at the memory because with that one night, she is reminded again of Freya's grimace when she found her sister in the maze rather in bed.

     But it isn't all about their feelings toward it. It is about her feelings toward them that haven't changed. A divide that needed to be created, but now she can't remember why,

     Olive bits her upper lip. She is glad for the veil hiding her face because she can already feel tears glazing her eyes at all the thoughts and remembrances of this journey. She could've thought of this reunion with her family as a way to create a place for herself in the family once more, but all she sought was a divide the whole time.

     She wonders what took so long for her to see this.

     "Are you all right?" The voice jumps Olive. The voice is a deep man's voice, and she worries Andrew might've caught her alone, but when she looks up, she finds Mr. Haden, who is no longer standing by the car with tall shoulders and his hands behind his back. He stands in front of her with his shoulders down and his hands down at his sides. Her eyes trace down to his hands and realize how they twitch slightly by his sides. Not by nerves since his face holds no tightness nor worry. It's as if they naturally twitch.

     "I'm fine," she bites back without meaning too. Where is Julie? She questions as she looks around for her, desperately wanting to be out of here instead of waiting any longer.

     "Are you sure?" He questions her. "You don't look to be fine."

     She gulps. She wants to ask why he cares she is lying to him about her emotions. She has been lying since she has been here— except for short private moments. She holds her tongue and pulls up her veil to lay on top of her head to reveal her blotching eyes and the trail of tears she hasn't wiped away yet.

     "I'm trying to be, though. Doesn't that count?"

     He frowns at her appearance. She expects him to try to smile and give her some sunny mantra to make her feel better somehow, but he doesn't.

     "We all are, so yes, it does count."

     She wrinkles her eyebrows and wipes away the tears on her cheeks.

    "What do you mean? No one has lost a husband as I have."

    "But I have lost a brother in the same way," he counters without faltering. "A woman in town is widowed, too. Many women will be with this war as many mothers might be son-less. You aren't alone in this causality of war. We all will lose someone. You aren't alone."

     "I'm sorry about your brother," she sends his way, truthfully, but her emotions are high, so she can't help but open her mouth again. "Are you calling me selfish in my mourning?"

    "No, I never said that." He counters quickly. His hands twitch at his words.

    "You might as well have," she sends back to his way.

    He holds his hands out like he is surrendering to her flames, but instead, he is trying to put her fire out.

    "I'm saying you are not alone." He repeats, but she doesn't see it like he wants her to.

    Her eyes scan over him and she bites the inside of her cheek.

    "But I am, Mr. Haden. That's where you are wrong. I ruined this time I could've spent with re-patching my family and creating a place for myself, but I didn't. I am alone in my sorrows."

    He doesn't offer any condolence to her loneliness.

    She holds her breath as she watches his eyes glaze over with similar tears of hers, but before any can escape, he breathes in deeply and plants a smile on his face like it is nothing.

    "I'm sorry about your loss, Mr. Haden," she says again.

    "As I am sorry about yours."

    She pulls her veil back over her face, but before it can fully cover her face, his hands brush up to hers, stopping her.

    "Why do you have to cover your sorrows?"

    "Because it is proper," she covers her face with the veil. His hands stay close to her face, frozen in time where she was covering her face.

    "But you don't need to hide from it."

    She dips her head down and he retracts his hand back to his side, shaking like it was moments ago.

   "I'm going to live in it, Mr. Haden. That's the big difference in hiding."

    He opens his mouth to speak more, but before he can, Julie is by her side with her own luggage. She examines the scene between them with curious eyes, but she doesn't ask any questions regarding why the chauffeur is standing so close to her lady. She asks:

    "Are you ready?"

    Olive stands with her eyes latched onto the man in front of her that still holds a small shine of tears in his eyes. She finally drops the veil to shield her face. The tears, that were trapped behind her eyes, finally drop onto her cheeks. She draws in a small breath and nods.

    "Let's go before my family comes out."

    Julie obliges and they both descend to the car with Mr. Haden close by. Mr. Haden opens the door for Olive and extends his hand for her, but she doesn't take it, afraid to feel his touch again.