The Periods of Being

Chapter XXIV

Chapter XXIV

    It is a haunting realization that Neil booked the funeral to be at the same church her and Mark shared their vows. She finds herself thinking about how she would never forgive him throughout the funeral. She should've known when he told him the possibility of using their childhood church as the venue of Mark's funeral. She just was so blind to put two together.

    She wore a white veil the last time she was here and now, she wears a mourning one.

    The service drifts like tidal waves, chilling her to the bone with each calling to the sand. She sat in the first row of pews, but she doesn't remember a hint of the funeral. Her eyes were clouded with tears the whole time and her ears were ringing with the silence and sniffles of others. Her mind was covered in a fog not even God could unravel. She left her mourning veil down the whole service, not allowing anyone to give their sympathies for her tears. They are already giving her theirs because of her husband's death.

    All she can recall is them moving the casket to the cemetery and laying her husband down to rest.

    She is told by her parents that Neil's speech was moving, but she doesn't remember being moved to tears or to laughter at the memories of him and Mark. She agrees with them, however, by giving a small nod as she watches the dirt being sprinkled and then dumped onto her husband.

    At the dinner last night, she was asked if she was going to present a speech on Mark's behalf as his wife by her mother-in-law, but she told her how she couldn't and wouldn't stand in front of the church. Now as she stands in front of the stone marked with her husband's name, she wonders if he is up in Heaven, wishing she did stand up and talk.

    The crowd of people dressed in their best clothing leaves in groups, but she stays standing next to the stone.

    Marina is the first to approach her with a weary voice at the gravesite. She can feel the eyes of many on her. She is alone in her sorrows again as she stands at the site of her husband. Her hands glide to the chain around her neck where his ring dangles from.

    "People are going back to Garthen for luncheon. Do you want to come back with your father and me?"

    "No, thank you," Olive answers with a rough scratch in her throat. "I'm just going to stay here for a while."

    She doesn't turn to her mother, but she knows she is facing her with sorrowful, yet protective eyes. She almost thinks that she is going to request to stay with her, but her mother doesn't say another word of it.

     "Are you feeling okay? You were quiet throughout breakfast and the service. I hope you know we are here for you. We are all here for you," Marina offers a hand to hold, but her hand keeps to the ring around her neck. The flicker of glitter in the overcast sky catches Marina's eyes. "Is that—? Where did you get that?"

    "Neil received a package from the military hospital," she tells her with a flat voice.

    "Oh," is all that leaves her mother's lips.

    There is a moment of silence as Marina stares at the ring through Olive's black veil and Olive's eyes stay on the gravestone in front of her.

    "Are you sure you don't want to—?"

    "No, I'm fine. I'm not hungry." Or in the mood to socialize, she omits.

    "I love you, Olive."

    She dips her head down.

    She leaves like they all did, going toward her father— she sees in the corner of her eye—, following a faded crowd toward Garthen Manor for luncheon.