The Periods of Being

The Epilogue Period

The Epilogue Period 

Two weeks is all she gets to pack her things and to ready herself for the journey to America. Neil speaks highly of the adventure, but with each passing day, anxiety fills Olive's lungs. Julie tries her best to calm Olive's nerves with happy thoughts and exclamations of a countdown till then. Her excitement does nothing to send remedies to her ill heart of leaving Garthen for a whole season. She should be excited with them since she is getting a season away from Garthen and away from her past, but the sensation is lost to her. However, despite it, she tries to keep her ill-mannered worries at bay. If Julie and Neil were excited and thrilled about the journey, then she will be too— even if she is forced to fake it in means to try to do so.

    The morning of the day of their departure comes faster than she expects and she finds herself fiddling with her wedding band as Julie comes near her with two dresses to choose from. A blue, beautiful one and a black, mourning gown. She says nothing of the choosing, already knowing that her request to wear something more colorful and cheerful will go in vain.

    "The black one will do," Olive says absentmindedly as if her heart decided before her head could do so.

    Julie nods at the request and goes to put away the blue dress. She ventures back to Olive and unzips the black one for her to step in. Olive obliges. The cool material tries its best to rub heat on her chilled skin, but it fails to do so. Her hands shake as she spreads her fingers on her upper thighs to remove the wrinkles while Julie zips the dress up her back.

    "Are you okay, Olive? You are quiet this morning."

    Aren't I usually? She wants to ask back, but she bites her tongue.

    "Do you think this is the right decision?" She finally asks. The question has been sitting in the back of her throat for weeks, boiling and waiting to be popped into the world. She turns to Julie when she feels the cold zipper by the nape of her neck. Julie faces her attention toward Olive. Her lips coil in a small frown.

    "Do you think you are?" She sends back her way. It stops Olive in tracks and she bows her head. She walks toward the vanity and sits down with her hand pressed to her forehead.

    "I think I might be rushing this. Maybe I should stay and have Neil go by himself." The words taste stale and not her usual words. They are simply words that she is vomiting to force Julie to actually give her answer to her first question. She needs Julie to tell her she is doing the right thing— or at least doing something that will help her in the end. Right now, it sensation and the fear of getting on a train then a boat to America is starting to feel too unreal and too un-rational.

    I was being stupid, she thinks to herself. I should just stay here and have time to myself.

    They were just more useless words, though.

    "You know you are lying to yourself about that," Julie answers back. "But, to answer your question, I do believe this is the right decision. The brand new air and new sceneries will do you well."

    Olive's eyes drift over to Julie.

    "Do you really think so?"

    "Positively," she smiles. Olive spreads a small smile on her face and turns to the mirror attached to the vanity. She doesn't stare at herself but at her dress. The dark color of mourning spreads over her like a disease. She frowns at the sight of it and stares into the reflection of Julie, who is holding in a similar frown.

    "If so then, can you grab the blue dress for me? I would like to wear that one today."

    Julie's eyes widen and the largest smile cracks across her lips— the largest smile Olive has seen from her friend's lips for too long. The smile makes her smile back. Her lips crack at the effort of the happiness, but at the sight of her own, Julie's smile grows deeper, if that is even possible.