The Black Swan | Reposted

Chapter 21 - Celebrations (M)

I felt so lost inside. My mom... after my dad died I loved her even more and we got even closer. She was my best friend. I was hurting over her attitude, hurting over the lies, the confusion. Harry seemed so stiff too but I figured it was for different reasons. It was so hard to have my head on straight, with all of this internal commotion inside of my mind. I was cracking.

"Are you ready?" Harry asked quietly as we stood off in the wings, show day. I shook my head. "Why do you think that?"

"I'm nervous, really nervous. My mom is here riding on me for the spot in Swan Lake. I know everyone is watching me to fail and I can't deal."

"Buck up." He said rather coldly. "Don't give a fuck about what your mother thinks, first off. As for everyone else fucking show them what you can do."

"You never get nervous?" he shook his head. "Seriously?"

"Why would I get nervous? This is what I do. This is what I know. I don't make mistakes."

I wanted to clock him if I was being truthful. He's just so perfect right? Harry Styles with his super cool dance moves, he needed to shut up. He was not helping me at all. The lights went down and our show began.

I was lost in it. I was lost in the steps, the beautiful music, how gentle Harry was. I loved that, that was for sure. I loved that this was the only time I'd see Harry like that, and it made me feel like... like I was probably the only girl in the world who ever had him while he was gentle. It made me feel special in an odd way; even though I knew Harry was obligated to dance with me in such a way. I had so much fun dancing with Liam too, the cast was amazing. It went so well. It made me incredibly proud, because I knew my mom was watching, and I knew if she didn't look pleased, the whole room would know. She felt like she was part of this company forever, always saying how her blood and sweat was still in the stage floor. If it wasn't putting on a good show, it was like her name was going down in shame, and she couldn't have that.

I was off in the wing towards the very end, seeing Harry close the show as he fell in a pit of despair. It... it honestly upset me how real it was. The pain on his face, the true look of loss and pain could be felt. I cried, my eyes a bit glassy. The audience broke out in applause once the curtain closed, Harry came to the wing and I quickly wiped my tear away.

"Please," he rolled his eye.

I didn't reply to his jerky comment. The other dancers came on for a bow and we were last, he guided me properly and we took a bow, shockingly getting a standing ovation. I stared up at him with a smile, unable to help it. He surprisingly gave me a smile back; he had such a sweet smile. I was shocked that he could look so nice but then look so cold. He was like an awful shower, the one where the pipes are on the fritz so warm meant scalding and cool meant freezing. Then when you think you know what to expect the pipes decide to work and you burn yourself all over again.

"Wow." I cheered after we walked off stage behind the curtain.

"You did great," Liam tossed me up, giving me a big hug. "You were amazing,"

"You were so fantastic."

We broke apart and he gave me a big kiss. I looked and found Harry already on his phone texting.

"Harry," he stared. "You were wonderful"

He didn't really have an expression. "Thanks, you were good too."

He walked off and then after we all hung up our costumes; we had been the very last in the showcase. My mom was very proud of me, and then offered to take me out but I lied and said I was going out with the company.

"Well," she ran her hand up and down my arm. "I'm proud of you, I love you."

"Love you too," I hugged her a bit lifelessly and she left. I sat down in the theater and Vincent raved, he was incredibly proud.