Dan’s POV
Hey Dan,
I’ve been waiting weeks for an opportunity to tell you this. But I never really made it. I didn’t have the guts to tell you and I’m sorry for this. I’m sorry I couldn’t say that right into your face, I’m sorry you have to read it. But you have to understand me, too. It isn’t the easiest thing to say. Dan I love you, really, I loved you since forever and you’ve probably seen it just now, when you saw my box from our early years with a little heart behind where you name should be. But I can’t do this Dan. I can’t do this anymore. I’m not pretending, I’m really not, you have to believe me that I love you more than anything, but some things are not meant to be. It’s not your fault Dan, you’re great, you’re perfect. It’s my fault and only mine. I’m holding you back from getting so much better. I’m just a sick, awful human being. I’ve done things, Danny, things that I shouldn’t have. I starved myself Dan. I didn’t cut, just that one time I saw your goodbye letter. But I starved myself when you were in hospital, and I couldn’t stop when you were out. When you were in coma, I just wanted to die and afterwards... I don’t even know, but I couldn’t stop. At nights when you were asleep in your room, I would just go out in bars and drink to make me numb. I know that wasn’t right, I should have talked to you, but you just had your own problems. But that one night I got so drunk and I didn’t realise what I was doing anymore. Dan I... I’m sorry, I can’t even write that. But I guess I just... cheated on you, and I’m really sorry for that. And now it turns out she’s pregnant. And I’m its father, Dan I’m honestly sorry for this and you don’t really understand how much I want to turn back time, but it happened, I’m sorry. If you’re wondering where I am, I got out, sleeping under some bridges for some nights, because I don’t think you would want to see me anytime soon. So don’t worry about me, I’m not worth worrying about. I still love you.
Love, Phil
I don’t know what was bigger, my disappointment that he did all of those things or the urge to want to forgive him and hug him and tell him everything will be alright.
________________________________________________
A/N: Sorry for this rather short chapter
YOU ARE READING
Amnesia (Phanfiction)
ספרות חובביםDan tried to kill himself. He wakes up in a hospital with Amnesia. He doesn't remember anything. Day after day a memory appears in his head. Will he ever find out why he wanted to die? Phil never wants to explain to him what happened. He always says...
