How Do We Live?

Chapter 3: Dehydration Synthesis

I know Rahim is rich, like rich-rich. Way back in college I could only see his stuffs in any statement brand, lahat mamahalin. It's like he is made for those. Lahat naman kasi iyon kapag sinuot, hinawakan o kahit man lang ipatong sa kanya ay parang paid endorsement agad ang dating. That's how mighty he can be.

And I thought that's only when I was in college and he's in law school that time.

Pero ngayon? Looking at him leaning on a high-end brand car, Ferrari F8 Spider? I think. I saw one of those from a high-end magazine. Let's not talk about why I seek those kind of reading materials.

Nakasilid sa bulsa ang isa niyang kamay habang ang isa ay hawak ang mamahaling briefcase niya. He's also looking grim. Exposed pa ng bahagya ang dibdib niya dahil sa hindi na nakabutones ang tatlong butones ng dress shirt niya.

"Let's go." Ang malalim niyang boses habang sinasabi iyon, ang pang-itaas na katawan ay bahagyang nakahilig sa matingkad na dilaw na sasakyan. That cost millions! Dios mio! How can he possibly drive that in the streets of Metro Manila?

"Monique." Napapitlag ako sa kanyang pagtawag sa akin kaya ng ibalik ko ang tingin ko sa kanya at halos manlambot na ako. Hindi ko alam kung saan malulula, sa mga mamahaling bagay na nakapaligid sa kanya o sa mga mata niyang sinusuri pa ako.

The night in his eyes is possibly the most beautiful darkness I could ever see. Hindi ko 'rin minsan maisip why did we ended up this way.

Nine years ago, I know he's too far for me to reach. I'm such a mediocre in the making filled with my remorse of my childhood, while he... he's just too perfect to begin with.

Ngayon, looking at him and how he shines so brightly with all the things that inclined to him. I feel like dehydrating on the insides of me. Pakiramdam ko sobrang layo niya sa akin. I feel so detached in a way that he's too far to reach... dahil sa lahat ng bagay na meron siya, kahit pa man noon.

Grabe, dalawang araw ko pa lamang siyang nakakasama sa lagay na ito pakiramdam ko hindi na maganda ang nangyayari sa akin. With all these thoughts; eto ang pilit ko na iniiwasan sa mga nagdaang taon.

When I think, I think too much and worry to the depths of extent that I can't control it anymore.

"Monique, get in."

"How about my car?"

"We'll be back here after that. Or I can drive you here tomorrow if we get late on the road." Nanlaki ang mata ko dahil sa sinabi niya. I thought dinner lang ito? Bakit kami gagabihin?

Mapapa-Yes! Lord! Oh! God! More! Jesus!

I flicker my eyes on how my left side devil slash angel whispers those sinful remarks on my subconsciousness! Goodness! Nica!

Hindi na ako naka-angal pa ng pagbuksan niya na ako ng pinto para sa shot gun seat. I look at him and sigh deeply in defeat. Hindi naman kasi ako nakakapalag sa kanya. He's tough! And he literally doesn't take no for an answer. If you won't say yes, he will make you.

Kung magarbo na ang labas ng kotse, pati ang loob ay halatang milyon-milyon ang ginastos. Pakiramdam ko kasalanan ang huminga sa loob dahil baka masira ang hangin na nag-veventilate sa buong sasakyan.

"Put your seatbelt." Napatitig ako sa kanya ng panandalian bago sundin ang inutos niya. He tosses his briefcase at the passenger seat sa likod bago binuhay ang makina ng sasakyan. Even the roar of the car engine screams luxury! I wonder what kind of fuel is he using. Ginto 'rin ba?

Tahimik lamang akong naupo roon ng umandar na ang kotse niya. I look at him for a moment and then look straight, trying to control my senses and the temptation to look at him.