Chapter 26

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Cole's POV

I look at myself in the mirror. There are dark purple bags under my eyes. My skin is pale. The eyes that used to be welcoming are now stone cold, like there is no life behind them. I'm a shell of who I used to be.

It was a quick decline once I took that first hit of whatever Tyler gave me at that party two years ago. I lost myself, making it so I lost Nya. Once I lost Nya, I turned back to what made me lose her, and everything fell apart.

It wasn't until recently that I noticed how much drugs changed my life. The withdrawals were painful when I was forced off of drugs, but the further I got in, the easier it got. I felt more free. Everything was less irritating. It became easier to breathe. I started to feel like me again.

But then I crashed. I caved into the peer pressure and played a round of beer pong. That round turned into multiple, and I got so drunk that I hurt Nya again. I hurt the girl that I swore to protect. I'm the reason she's on crutches.

I'm not me when I'm on drugs or when I even think about them. They transformed me. I used to be a hard on the outside and soft on the inside guy, but now I'm just a jerk. I see it and I hate it.

That jerk scared Nya away. She's never going to give me a chance again. In her defense, I wouldn't if she was her. She's finally happy again now that she has someone to rely on, even if I'm super jealous of Jay.

My jealousy drove me to a point of destruction. Jay has never done anything wrong to me. He's never been mean. I just got jealous that he got Nya and I didn't, so I decided I needed to beat him up. I felt guilty the entire time doing it, but I couldn't stop. I needed to direct my rage somewhere other than myself, and he was the easiest target.

"I need to fix myself," I verbalize my thoughts, telling my reflection. "I never want to see you again."

I walk into the kitchen to grab a trash bag. When I come back, I open the second lowest drawer to the left. It's overflowing with several vapes, wax pens, cigarettes, and lots more. One by one, I place each one in a trash bag until my drawer is clean.

I close the drawer before walking outside. I go into our side yard where we keep our trash cans. Opening the one with the black lid, I drop the bag in.

---

I walk through the halls of the school, trying to find two specific people. It would be three if I wasn't so afraid. I can't face Nya, not yet. I need to give both of us time and space. I need to give myself time to come to terms that I need to let her go.

I see the first person when I turn the corner towards the courtyard. He is sitting in the grass field. The flowers surround him, and his eyes are closed. Hesitantly, I walk towards him.

"Zane," I say softly, trying to break him from his trance. At the sound of his name, he snaps out of his trance, his eyes opening so his ice blue eyes are visible.

"I'm sorry Cole. I won't sit here next time," he responds out of fear, preparing to get his stuff.

"I'm actually here to say sorry," I admit, feeling even more guilt when I see him panicking to get his stuff. "Please sit." He listens, placing his backpack back down. "You've done nothing to provoke our actions over the past several years. You're innocent, and we penalized you for it. We've taken out of frustration on you, and we've made your high school experience miserable. I don't know what I could do to try to fix any of that. I'm sorry for bullying you, Zane. If there is anything I can do to lessen the damage, please let me know."

"I accept your apology. Everyone deserves the chance to start anew," he gives me a small smile, and it's like a weight is lifted off my chest. However, he starts to drift off, focusing on something over my shoulder. PIXAL is standing with Chamille, talking. Zane looks mesmerized.

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