Lucid Dreams

The Insomniac

Sometimes I feel like Santa without the beard.. I got the stomach covered a while ago...coz my gym partner is a monkey.
Yeah.. akward punchlines is my thing nowadays.. I aim for that squinted eyes head pops back reaction. I usually never get it though, I wonder why(feigning ignorance)
When you have nothing to do its almost like your mind dives into this.. void..
Where you go circles around yourself circles around yourself circles... see what I mean.
So I wanted to let these uncensored unscripted thoughts stare back at me.. see how good looking I really am.. coz sometimes the mirror isn't enough.. So I mirror myself in these words.. and find quite frankly that I'm not that impressive.. my thoughts win... for the 99th time. And positive thinking just makes this war more aggressive and to be honest I'm a peace loving guy.. so I let it simmer..
Damn I wonder why all the lights keep getting dimmer.. It's hot outside but I feel like its winter. Negative thoughts.. negative thoughts win.. positivity blown away with the wind..
And Hope.. walked the plank last week.
And every night I'm too afraid to sleep when even staying awake is not guaranteed.
And Mike.. Mikey! Kept me sane through the insomnia..
With his cheap jokes that never get better but every night... he.. he.. passed the night before last. Flew the death plane first class... through his sleep.. left me wondering maaan that could be me. After three nights of staring at his empty bed.. a little girl came in.. like..
Hi! We're bunkmates
Not for long kid, not for long
So every day she draws.. these ..these colourful pictures
Tugging at my Johnny gown like LOOK WHAT IVE DRAWN MISTER!
Day after day after.. I'm starting to not totally dislike her rainbow personality
A few more days and I can sleep. A few more weeks and I can even dream.. you have no idea what this little stranger means to me.
I hate pop ups.. can anyone share in my carefully nurtured hatred for these things..like I could get stabbed in the chest a thousand times by my best friend hate pop ups..
But somehow, I hate being alone more.
Morning came
Her cheeks were pale
Felt cold as stone
From head to tail
Sorry toe
She died last night..
An overdose
If only I kept staying awake
Maybe I could've.. too late
Negative thoughts.. negative thoughts win..
Hope walks the plank AGAIN!
And I'm following right behind
STOP! YOU'RE IN REMISSION
You're gonna be fine!
Negative thoughts? ..Negative
That little girl filled my heart with this heaviness
"I wanna live on fo.."
I wake up..
Or rather I don't
"I wanna live on fo"
The last line this sucky writer wrote.