The Case of You and Me

chapter 23 - Nasty Habits

A/n kinda upset lowkey self projecting some issues but this was in my original story line 

Trigger warning: eating disorder triggers (I'll warn before the bad parts and when they end)

Aria's POV

I woke up with a dull headache, uncomfortable, but nothing compared to the pain I felt last night.

Last night. Very eventful. I had blocked a terminated pregnancy and Spencer had humored thoughts of a future with us. I had never thought of the future with someone like that without feeling panic. My biggest fear was ending up like my mother, a husband that leaves you to raise your children by yourself...and for whatever reason...commitment doesn't scare me here.

That's not good. Without my fear of commitment, there's nothing to stop me from having a crush on Spencer. Like a real one. That could ruin everything, because I suck at hiding crushes...and he's a damn profiler. Also—I'm not sure I'm ready for a real relationship—wait, maybe we don't have a problem. 

I should have never brought up babies, now my brain is confused. It must be a hormonal, baby crazy thing. I need to talk to Liz. In a place where no one in the BAU has a chance of hearing. I need to tell her about my dream. 

My stupid subconscious gave me an image of me coddling a sleepy toddler before Spencer walked into what was clearly the little girl's bedroom. She groggily sat up and reached for him. 

"She somehow knew you were coming back tonight," I had said, "I swear that's why she wouldn't go to sleep. Maybe she's psychic."

Spencer rolled his eyes, "Actually—"

"I know you're going to say that the subconscious processes more information than your active mind can keep up with which is why people have gut feelings."

He lifted the child, hugging her to him, they had the same hair. "Actually, I was just going to say that three years olds tend to try and reverse their sleep cycle and Diana likes it when daddy puts her to bed."

"Oh, I guess being married to a genius is making me one too." He moved closer to me, kissing me  chastely.

Once he pulled away, he looked into my eyes. "Genius or not, I'm happy to be back with my two girls."

"Well, Doctor, soon you'll be coming home to three more people." Spencer's eyebrows had furrowed in a way so similar to real life I still can't believe it wasn't real.

"Triplets!" He threw away all caution, putting the three year old in bed before kissing me, truly kissing me.

"No, I don't want—"  It's Spencer, speaking on the phone. "I know-I know what we did. Don't get sentimental now, we both know any connection we have is just sexual tension from a place of hatred , but there's no emotional component." 

Never did I think I'd hear Spencer talk about  hate-fucking. Who the hell is he talking about? Was he texting her last night? I'm so stupid—dreaming about kids with someone I'm probably just a stress reliever for.