temptation- t.c

12. crossing the line

Because I didn't update yesterday, here's another
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~Timothée~

To be honest, I was not a hundred percent sure what I was doing. For some reason, every time she looked at me or even was in close proximity, I wanted to touch her.

Of course, when if first met her I thought she was beautiful but there was something so off putting about the fact that she was coming onto me. Now that I had gotten to know her and knew she wouldn't make the moves, I felt more comfortable.

I liked catching her off guard, like behind the pool house. It's when her reactions became the most natural, not as if she was trying to seduce me or anything. At dinner now, Danny or Maddie would stay and I would get to sit close to her. Sometimes I would run my foot along her leg and watch her try not to react. It was fun.

It had been almost three weeks now since I had arrived and even though we weren't even half way, I could feel her slipping out of my grasp. I knew it was wrong, that was what was stopping me from just pulling her into the pool house and not letting her leave.

Every time I looked at Luke, I felt guilty that I was feeling this way about his little sister. It was odd to me that he hadn't picked up on it yet although he seemed to be a bit preoccupied with Danny. From what he had told me, they had established they weren't just friends but I guess it's just a summer thing.

It's not like she made it easy for me though, she would walk around in basically nothing and make me watch her. Every time she played tennis she would walk past the pool house or wherever I was sat in her tiny tennis skirt. If she wasn't wearing her tennis gear, she was in shorts or a bikini. Part of me wished it was winter so she could wrap up in many layers and I could get some peace of mind.

Laurie in Little Women didn't have this problem, even in the summer back then the women hardly showed skin. Of course he would still drool over Jo no matter what she was wearing but it probably helped that she dressed conservatively. Although I have no doubt if Jo were to live in this time period she would dress the same, not wanting to be objectified by men just because it was too hot to wear jeans.

For all I know, it could just be the heat that is making me feel this way. Everyone knows heat turns people on. Or it could be that I haven't had a woman's company for a while since I basically gave it up during finals. What a mistake. Maybe I would be able to control myself if I had just given Lucy Perkins a second look.

I considered going out with Luke and finding someone to bring home. There was one girl that I met at a party, who I knew from NYU but the whole time she was talking to me I was making sure Sam didn't get too friendly with Adeline. That didn't exactly work out as she kissed him in front of me, clearly to make me jealous but it was working.

I wished she would get bored, realise that my internal conflict was too much for me to ever cross the almighty line. The line that I had had a few dreams about recently in the heat of the night. If she rejected me I would have no choice but to move on. Although I rejected her many times and she still seemed interested.

It was getting in the way of my reading, every time I started reading late at night when I couldn't sleep or didn't want to, her head would pop up in my head and then my imagination would wander.

I had started to imagine her so much that when she came to see me that one night, I thought she was a figment of my imagination. It was the way she opened the door carefully, not even knocking like she wanted to catch me thinking about her.

She never walked in, always stepped in and lingered by the door as if she knew she wasn't meant to be there and was waiting for me to yell and tell her to leave. I knew there was a certain thrill for her that I had rejected her and had the power to send her on her way whenever I wanted to.