Diary Of A Lovesick, Immature, Slightly Depressed Fangirl (A Dan Howell Fanfic)

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 26, 2014

This is my first Dan Howell Fanfic. Please tell me you opinion about this, unless you want to tell me that it's shit, in which case nobody gives a single dam. Enjoy!

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Dear Diary,

My friend Amber suggested that I get a journal to write down my innermost thoughts as a way to distract myself from thinking about the inevitability of death and the ignorance of the common man. I think she is full of it. I have no need whatsoever to express my thoughts whether it is orally or in written form. Either way my thoughts will be witnessed by an emotionless creation within our infinite universe. But in written form I will not be judged.

I suppose I should really be thanking her for purchasing an obnoxiously fluorescent pink children's diary with pink sparkles and a pink feather pen. Because with this diary that I plan on spray painting black later, I can express my thoughts to a non judgemental object on this hell hole of a planet.

So, may I just say, hello diary. I'm Alec, short for Alecto, Samantha Burleigh. I'm twenty-two years old, born in Yorkshire. I am a best selling author of a book called 'The Better Side'. It's about a girl who meets her YouTube idols, one of which that falls in love with her. It was actually a fanfiction that I wrote on a website. It was so popular that a publisher took on the story as a challenge. He changed a few of the characters' names and turned it into a best seller. Needless to say, I have a decent amount of money.

And even though I have a decent amount of money, I still live in a small flat in the outskirts of London. I have a job at a Starbucks two blocks away. And thanks to my publisher, I'm not mobbed by paparazzi. The cover of the book I wrote may have my name and the city I live in, but it doesn't have my picture. The picture in the book is of some model from Norway.

I'm also an aspiring youngish YouTuber with about 50,000 subscribers. Not as many as some people like AmazingPhil or KickthePJ but still pretty good. My YouTube name is MeghanNeedsALife, Meghan Gawn being my internet name.

I, to be fairly honest, am not attractive. I don't wear designer shoes or wear fancy dresses. To be honest, I don't think I even own a dress. Let alone purses or high heels. I do have some make up, and yes, it is fairly expensive. But those are probably the girliest objects I possess. My hair is dark brown and goes down to my knees if it isn't up.

My fashion sense is terrible. I own three pairs of shoes. A pair of red Converse, black Vans, and TARDIS flats. I own about fifteen shirts, ten of which being video game related, and the others being merchandise from my many Fandoms. I have stuff from Divergent to Danisnotonfire. But let's not get into my Fandoms today. And then comes my pants. I own four pair of sweatpants, all having a different house from Harry Potter on them, two pairs of shorts, and eight pairs of skinny jeans, colors ranging between black and light gray. And nothing fits me properly, considering the fact that I'm only 5'4 and as skinny as a twig.

The only characteristic that I possess that is even remotely beautiful is probably my eye color. My eyes are a brilliant dark blue with green and brown highlights with flecks of gold. Sadly, those eyes are hidden behind a pair of nerd glasses with huge lenses with thick black frames. I can't see a thing without those glasses. Not unless it's right in front of my face.

My main goal in life, you may ask? Surviving each day and night. And no, I am not completely obsessed with Minecraft. But I suffer from depression. And extremely OCD which makes being around people very difficult. But luckily, my OCD hasn't tried to kill me. Yet.

I was about nineteen. I was getting tired of life. I tried to end it with a few too many antidepressants and ended up in the hospital for a month. But after that little incident, I got better. I stopped cutting. I was a little more social. I joined a website to help express my inner thoughts and dreams about my favourite people, real and fictional.

I got better after my story became a hit. But I have been feeling down lately, probably because of the hate mail I have been getting on my story. The online version. People have been saying that I just copied the author of 'The Better Side' even though my online version came out long before the book version did. I know that these people are new readers who didn't know about me being and didn't bother checking the timestamp on the latest chapter. But their words are still offensive.

'You copied the work of a brilliant author you stupid whore. You must be a really desperate bitch with too much time on her hands to have written the entire book down and change a few names. Why don't you just go kill yourself,' one read. The rest were pretty bad but that one struck a raw nerve. I don't want to head down that path again.

I gave also been getting phone calls from a random number at around two in the morning for the past two weeks. I have actually tried answering them the few times that I've been awake at that time but the caller always hangs up after the rings.

I plan on answering it tonight to see if I can actually speak to whoever thinks it's funny to call me at such a late time.

I'll let you know how well that goes for me tomorrow. Until then.

Yours Truly,

Alecto Samantha Burleigh