I Was Amity...

29

He closes the door behind us as we step into his apartment. He slips off his shoes. "Want some water?"

"No thanks." I hold my hands in front of me.

"You okay?" he asks.

I shake my head no. "Not right now, but I will be," I answer honestly.

I sit down on his black couch. Looking around I notice his apartment is just as spotless as the last time I was here.

"You can talk to me, you know," Eric says while sitting next to me. "Believe it or not I get that people actually have emotions. You've made it through to being a full member. I can go easy on you now, you've already proved you're Dauntless enough."

I don't know if I should talk to him. I don't know what I can tell him. Eric scoots closer to me so there is no space between us. His hand cradles the side of my head, his long fingers slipping through my hair. I jump back a little, looking at him a little surprised by the sweet action.

"Are you afraid of me?" Eric asks. There is a hint of sadness in his voice.

I shake my head. "No. It's just every time you're nice to me I'm taken aback by it. The way you treat me is different from how you treat everyone else," I say truthfully.

Since transferring here I've wondered why Eric is this way with me. Why he can be kind and sweet with me and then almost rip someone's head off the next. He smiles and holds my head in place as he kisses me. Heat spreads through me slowly. The kiss only lasts a few seconds before he pulls away.

"I treat you differently because you are different. I could tell from the beginning that you would be a leader here. From the second you jumped off that roof I knew you belonged here," Eric tells me.

I can't help but smile at his response. Eric has believed in me from the very beginning. I want to get close to him but I'm scared. The safety I feel with Eric is different from the safety I feel with Four. With Eric I feel safe because he is the badass take no crap from anyone leader of Dauntless. When I'm with Four I feel safe because he is like me, Divergent, and I know he wouldn't let anything happen to me.

I push every thought out of my mind except for one, kissing Eric again. I lean forward, attaching my lips to his once again. The kiss deepens and I can feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins. His lips still on mine, he pushes the jacket from my shoulders. I flinch when I hear it drop, and push him back. I want to know what's in this for him. Why now?

"What? What's wrong?" Eric asks. I shake my head, not knowing how to phrase what I want to ask without pissing him off. He grabs my arm. "Hey. Look at me."

I look him right in the eye before speaking. "Sometimes I wonder what's in it for you. I just want to know where we're going to go from here."

"What's in it for me," he repeats. He shakes his head. "I don't know, Em."

"You don't know?" I ask. "Out of all the girls you could have chosen, you chose me. So if you're just looking for sex tell me."

"What girls?" He scowls at me.

"Literally every girl in Dauntless. I'm not blind I see the way they look at the youngest, most badass leader Dauntless has."

Eric chuckles. "You think I'm bad ass."

I hit him on the shoulder. "That's what you got out of that?"

"How bout you tell me what you want from this," Eric counters. "I know about you and Four."

It feels like I was just hit in the gut. I thought Four and I were being careful. To hear Eric say he knows makes me uncomfortable.

"You know I've only kissed Four. I've never even been in his apartment."