Poetically Lifted

If I Knew (Full Poem)

Help me understand my beauty,

Show me your initial plan before I knew me,

Before the scars, before new perceptions of this world,

What was your plan oh God, when you created this little girl,

Before I could hurt, before I understood the meaning of pain,

Show me my initial worth, before the condition of my heart changed,

Before you set me free, to make decisions of my own,

What was your idea of me, before I knew no wrong,

Help me understand my beauty,

Before I could hear your voice, before trouble knew me,

What would I have become if I knew your thoughts for my life,

If I knew the battles I fought were not mine to fight,

That the people in my life would become destructive,

And the decisions I perceived as right were not constructive,

That the relationships I entered into would do me harm,

And the little girl I once knew would hear no alarm,

What was your idea of me, show me your initial plan,

Recondition me, so I become who I truly am,

So that I accept what I perceive as flaws, work on my mind,

And I learn to love what no one recalls, because I continue to hide,

Show me the beauty you envisioned when you thought of me,

Help me understand with my heart, my eyes don't see,

Stabilize my mind, replace me on the right track,

If the true me is far behind, lord bring me back,

Help me understand my beauty,