Wonderwall

Trigger warning for mentions of suicide and self harm. Proceed with caution.

"Thank god you're awake..." Camila and Shawn both snapped their heads to April. Camila glared at her with everything she had.

"You shouldn't be here..." Camila said.

"You shouldn't either... you're in violation of a restraining order..."

"A restraining order?" Shawn said weakly and in disbelief.

"It's what was best..."

April took a step forward and Camila put her arm protectively over him. Their hands were connected.

"Everything you do is what's best for you... you never listen to what I want or what I need," Shawn glared at her.

"We both know that's not true,I let you have this little... fuck bunny.. by your side because you asked...and now look where you are...

Camila clenched her jaw at the term she'd used to describe her.

"This isn't her fault! I was always going to kill myself... I'd been planning it for months now... if anything Camila convinced me that I needed help and everytime I asked for help it was always "there's no time" or "after the tour"."

"You're being dramatic and this is all in your head. Your parents trust me with you because without me you'd be nothing and you know it..."

"Enough!" Karen had been standing behind her the whole time and Shawn and Camila knew it. He made the decision to come clean about his plan to kill himself knowing they'd hear. He had to let them see what kind of person April was and how she treated him.

April looked behind her in horror when she realized they were behind her.

"Get out... you're fired..." Karen snapped.

"Karen..."

"I trusted you. I trusted you would take care of him and look where he is..."

"This is not my fault.... he... slit his wrist, I didn't do that..." April argued and Andrew was about to step in but Manuel, Shawn's father spoke up. "Save it. Andrew just spent the last hour telling us everything and I mean everything...."

April was stunned and she knew she was caught. She stormed out of the room and in seconds Shawn's parents were at his side. They were both crying and hugging and kissing and Camila stepped away so they could have their moment. She hugged Andrew and then doctors came in to examine him.

Shawn needed to undergo a psychological evaluation and when Camila got up to leave he reached for her hand. "Stay..."

So she stayed.

The doctor asked him questions.
Did he have suicidal thoughts?

"Everyday," he said

For how long?
"Since... January."

Do you have a plan?

Shawn couldn't bear to look at anyone's face when he answered but he knew he had to be truthful.

"I was planning on killing myself when my tour ended... I was going to slit my wrists."

This was news to Camila. He'd never told her what his plan was exactly. Shawn had contemplated many ways to kill himself but he needed a way that would ensure he couldn't be saved. He knew with pills he could have his stomach pumped.. as with alcohol. Jumping off a building or getting in a car crash he knew would break his parents heart and affect their ability to have an open casket. When he explained all this aloud it really hit him, just how dark his thoughts were. He told them how he'd written notes and how he planned on leaving one last song. One last peice of him for the world to remember.