Ethan's Gang : Unholy War : Book I

Chapter 2 - Murder on the Corner

     THREE DAYS LATER, Ethan was standing on the corner of Main Street and  Edison Avenue.  It was a busy intersection in Boboville's main business area.  The time was 5:00 pm, rush hour.  Ethan stood, leaning against a traffic light, wearing dark glasses and smoking a big green cigar.  Nearby, his friends Randy and Wil stood like brats, saying “Rarr!” at passing cars.

     A Chevy Lumina went past.

“Rarr!” Randy said, challenging it.  The car fled.  A Ford Eggsplorer came around the corner.  Wil took a step towards it and said “RARR!”.  The driver gasped, continuing on his way in fear. 

     Ethan continued puffing on his cigar.  Eventually, he knew, somebody would stop to pester them.  Then, violence and blood would be seen.  It’s why they were on the corner in the first place—Randy and Willy wanted to kill somebody, so they were provoking everyone who passed them in the street.

     Harvey McEggmaster was driving his crappy looking 1979 Chrysler New Yorker down Jackson street, headed home after a brutal day at work.  Literally brutal—the boss’s secretary had gone mad, killing the copy machine repairman with a claw hammer before being somehow sucked into the paper shredder and…well, shredded.  Harvey shuddered with disgust, recalling the hideous affair.  Then he turned on the radio, catching the last part of a new song about drugs and stench.  Then the news came on.

     “Welcome to the Z-102 Five o’clock news!” an obnoxious voice sneered.  “Tonight’s top story: Police announced the discovery of seven dead bodies on the front lawn of a local house.  The corpses apparently were once the living bodies of a woman called Maddy Lynn, her son Paddy, and 4 unidentified teenage rednecks—er, I mean, people—Mah ha ha!! And all of this hot on the heels of the scandalous occurrences at the Hospital!!  If you’ll recall, a man was found covered with cheesecake, dead, and a huge ugly woman in a nurses uniform was dead in the parking lot, and a guy was strangled, witnesses say, by Skaters! Eee hee hee hee!”

     Harvey turned off his radio. The news lady had apparently gone mad.

     Then he gasped as a 14 year old boy stepped aggressively into the street and yelled “Rarrr!” at him.

     Harvey was not a rational person.  He began screaming in French, then jumped out of the car, leaving it at the stoplight.  Other motorists soon became outraged and got out of their own cars, picked up the abandoned Chrysler and threw it in a ditch, then went on their ways.

     Harvey McEggmaster didn’t care, though.  He was in too much pain.  In fact, he was laying in the gutter—screaming—with Randy and Wil standing over him, pounding down on him with their feet.  The impacts battered him against the hard, rough cement below him, lacerating his scalp, injuring his back.  Randy smiled widely, which wasn’t hard, since he had such a big mouth, and thumped his big size 10.5 rubber sole down onto Harvey’s forehead again.  The man responded by going cross-eyed, gritting his teeth, and shrieking. 

     Willy giggled.  His Airwalks were comfortable on his big, cute feet, and he thrust one of them into Harvey’s belly, as hard as he could.

     “Hooourrrgh!!” Harvey gurgled, and Willy laughed at him, then kicked him in the balls.

     A woman in a passing Volvo screamed as she saw the spectacle—a man was being stomped in the gutter by juvenile boys!! Young teenagers!! Junior High aged punks!! She pulled out her cellular phone and dialed 911, screaming insanely all the while.  As a result, she crashed her car into a nearby Toyota.  Shockingly, both vehicles instantly exploded.  A chunk of razor sharp aluminum whizzed through the air like a scythe, headed for Randy’s face.  Ethan deflected it with a quick wave of his hand, and the deadly metal curved past Randy, accelerating away across a nearby parking lot at the speed of sound.  It tore through a brick wall with an explosion of orange brick dust and finally embedded itself in a 600 pound Hungarian man’s back.  The man, riding a unicycle while wearing a goat-hair toga and a greasy top hat, screamed—then crashed to the sidewalk dead.