chapter forty | okay, okay?

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VICTORIA LEANS ON the table, frustration and worry painted on her face. She still hasn't properly been able to sleep, and it's clear on her face. No amount of makeup could hide what she was going through.

All she wanted to do was sit beside her sister and make sure she was okay. At this point, Victoria knows that Leo is fine, and having him in the hospital was just precautionary, making sure his sprains and bruises would heal and there's enough blood inside of him. But Vera... her episodes were becoming more frequent.

"Vic," Lysander said. She looked over to her brother in his wheelchair. She felt bad for dragging him out of bed again, but she wanted to talk. She needed to know what happened in Fox Grove. She needed to know what happened to Vera in the last decade.

"Vic, I know you're terrified. I know you want to know what's happening to her, but you have to think about yourself, too. You're tired, and you won't be any use to Vera if you get sick, too."

She tried to blink away tears. "I can't stop thinking about what she said last night." Victoria turns around. "I can't stop thinking about what the doctors said, about all the drugs in her bloodstream. Hell, Mom was here last night. How do I get that out of my head?"

Lysander bit his nails, nerves getting the best of him. "Trust me, Victoria. I can't stop thinking about that either."

Victoria got back up on her feet and started pacing the room. She couldn't sit still. She couldn't stop shaking. "Be honest with me, Lys. What do you think he did to her, all these years?"

Lysander knew the "he" was Ansen Grey. He bit his lip, not sure if Victoria wanted to hear his theory. But she wanted to know what happened. "Based on what I saw, Vic, I think... " He closed his eyes. "I think Vera's been assaulted. Sexually and physically. I think that's why she freaked out so much when she found herself tied to the bed."

Victoria stayed silent. "No," she whispered to herself. "Impossible. That couldn't have happened to my little sister. There has to be another reason-"

"Victoria, you out of all people should know what she's probably feeling," Lysander stated. He tried to make eye contact with his sister, but Victoria moves away. "It would make sense with what she said, about... him coming back. She's traumatised. And you should've seen her with Att this morning."

Her ears perked up to that. "What do you mean? She closer to him than anyone else, she knows that he wouldn't hurt her."

"It was more like a reflex," Lysander explained. "She probably didn't even know what she was doing, but she was flinching when he got kind of close. She moved her hand away when he reached for her. Atticus picked it up, too, and tried to keep his distance. It was like her body and subconscious thought he was going to hurt her. She was afraid to get anyone close to her."

"I thought you said that she kissed her?" Victoria also saw the giddy look on Atticus' face when he walked out of the hospital building.

"Well, yeah. But Vera initiated the kiss. She wanted to be close to him." Lysander played with the ring on his finger. "But there's still something that's guarding her off. There's also how she reacts when the doctors check on her. Again, she's flinching. She's reserved."

Victoria gives her brother an odd look. "I... I don't notice that. She doesn't let the doctors touch her."

Lysander nods. "Well, yeah. Even when she had her last episode, Vera was hesitating to let people touch her. She tries to move away and avoid people, even when they wanted to help her. And there's that look on her face... like she'd rather push the world away. She'd rather hide somewhere, alone. Vera's constantly... scared."

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