Love is Evol~Chase Hudson (DISCONTINUED!)

7

Chase took a seat on the edge of the my bed and I sat crisscross apple-sauce with my back to the headboard. I patted the space next to me inviting him to sit closer. He scoots up closer to me and I face him. I can tell by the look on his face he's an amazing listener.

"Well here it goes," I laugh a nervous and ugly laugh. "That first day we met...I was in a different more..urm darker head space? Yeah you could say that, when we kissed," I smile at the thought. "I literally felt myself changing with every smart comment that came out your mouth. I'd catch my self flirting and scold myself. I kept reminding myself not to "let anyone in" and that's why I left. It really wasn't your fault I'm fucked up it might not look it but I am." I bow my head and pick at my nails. But I look up at him quickly and collect myself.
"Any way I couldn't stop thinking about you, about the taste of your mouth and the feel of your body on mine." I look up at him waiting for him to say an "I knew it" or an "I told you" or something. But no his face is soft and understanding.
"It's stupid I know." I chuckle nervously, and look down at my hands. Chase quickly places his hand on mine.
"No, it's not, not at all." He reassures me. And I smile at him and continue.
"Well, during my trip at Disney a situation happened between me and my mom. We could barley look at each other." I frown and he rubs his thumb over my hand.
When we got back home she didn't want anything to do with me, I thought she was going to get over it. But she didn't. So I stayed with my best friend Pud- Rahjon and his roommate. I thought she was going to call and tell me to comeback. That's where I met Christian he was Rahjon's roommate." I smile weakly at him.
"He was sweet and respectful, I was the only girl living in the apartment. He never tried to push himself on me and I liked that about him. I had never had a real boyfriend and I didn't want one but I was alone my mom basically disowned me and I was missing the way your mouth moved on mine. I told him my feeling for him and things escalated, I let him take my virginity. It was amazing and I wouldn't take it back not ever. He was sweet, patient and cautious, he insured there would be minimal pain." I look up at Chase and his face is in a frown. I furrow my brows but continue.
"I lived with them for about a year and me and Chris got more serious. The sex was really good but there was always something missing. Every time we kissed it was off I always found myself wanting more from his lips I just could never get it." I smile at Chase. Making sure he wasn't uncomfortable with me talking about my sex life with Christian.
"Are you ok? I can stop if your uncomfortable." I ask him frantically.
"No I'm fine finish, please." He gives me a lopsided smile.
"Well I worked two jobs the whole year I was living with them for free but I still wanted to help. Rahjon would never let me help with the bills but I would pay for the groceries and cook. Yesterday was when Chris told me he loved me for the first time we were on the way to airport. But I couldn't say it back I just didn't love him I had feelings strong feelings for him but they never seemed to reach love. He was a little angry but recovered quickly and we were back to our playful selves." I pause and take a deep breath, licking my lips before continuing. Out of the corner of my eye I can see chase looking at my lips.
"We were having so much fun at the airport I was going to miss him terribly. We kissed goodbye and during our kiss I tried to pull his hair, problem is he doesn't have long hair. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about kissing you in that moment." I smile at him. He rewards me with a giant smile.
"Well I told my best friend what happen at the airport and I guess he told Christian and Chris cheated on me." I frown, and my heart throbs.
"Puda tried to tell me and Chris beat him." I say my voice shaky. The thought of Christian beating on Puda makes me want to cry Christian is so much bigger than him I know he got beat up badly.

"Puda?" Chase questions.

"Rahjon, sorry that's the nickname I gave him." I smile.

"Oh."

"Well I guess what I'm really trying to say is I-I like you." I mumble.