Guardian Angel | Minsung

II. Reality

Life for Jisung was going down the drain at a faster pace than usual. It had been pretty rough since his early teens, but the older he got, the harder it seemed to become. It felt like his depression and his anxiety were taking over him completely and that he was losing his footing in life. It was as if he was losing everyone around him and he was standing in his own way of stopping it from happening.
He sighed as he tossed around in his bed once again. Turning to his alarm clock, he noticed it was already four a.m. He would soon have to get up to get ready for school. Was it even worth it? The pressure to look after himself as well as his drunk father were in the way of him performing well, his grades falling faster than ever before. He wished he could just focus on creating music, putting his feelings into it and letting all his thoughts go. For some reason though, he just couldn't. He wanted to, but at the same time he felt like doing nothing. He didn't want to do anything. Anything seemed like it would take too much effort and energy, and he didn't know if he had any of it left to spare.

In the end, Jisung didn't get any sleep that night. He got up at seven to take a quick cold shower. He got dressed in his usual all black outfit and went down the stairs, but not before quickly checking to see if his father was sleeping in his bedroom. When he opened the door, the faint smell of alcohol lingered in the air. Anyone else would have cringed at the smell, but for Jisung it wasn't any different from any other day. He hated how he was used to it. His father was sprawled out on top of his bedsheets, obviously asleep from the loud snores that emitted from his mouth. He must've been too passed out to be able to change into his pyjamas and get under the blanket, as Jisung remembered the outfit to be the same as last night's. The boy quickly took off his dad's jeans and put the blanket over his body, tucking him in slightly. He smiled sadly at his father before he turned to leave the room. He closed the door and made his way down the stairs, preparing his lunch for the day. He never ate breakfast, he usually used that time to clean up the living room as much as he could. This morning was no different. The beer cans were laying all over the floor, pizza box from last night still on the couch. Jisung scrunched his nose, wishing he had time to get the vacuum cleaner and take the crumbs off of the couch and the floor. However, he sadly didn't have that luxury as he was already running thin on time.

"Should've gotten up at 5." He mumbled to himself as he shoved the one sandwich into his backpack. It would have to do. Maybe if he looked at Changbin with puppy eyes, he'd get some of his lunch. His Hyung couldn't resist those eyes, after all. Jisung didn't take into account that it was because he was starting to look thinner than ever, his best friend just being worried for him.

As he locked the door behind him, making sure his dad wouldn't leave the house and get into his car for some dumb reason, he made his way to school. Jisung didn't like to admit it, but he was always afraid he'd get another call from the police, telling him his father had also passed away. Even though his father made him take care of the both of them as well as have him be the breadwinner of the family, Jisung couldn't hate his dad. He wasn't a bad man. He was a man that made bad decisions. And could Jisung really blame him? Maybe if his dad had kept sane, he would've been the one to venture off onto a beaten path.

After 15 minutes of walking, Jisung finally made it to school. It was 5 minutes before the first bell rang, which made him perfectly on time. He went to his locker where Changbin was already waiting for him, like every morning. Jisung waved at his friend before moving up to join him.

"Good morning sunshine, how'd you sleep?" His best friend started with a small smile. He knew of Jisung's home situation, so he'd always do his best to keep updated as much as possible. If he didn't ask, Jisung wouldn't tell him. However, Jisung almost never lied to him so when he did ask, he would always get the full story.