𝕃𝕖𝕘𝕒𝕔𝕪 - 𝔸 𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕎𝔸ℝ𝕊 𝕊𝕋𝕆ℝ𝕐

4 - LEAVING

(Song: Je te laisserai des mots - Patrick Watson)

Luke opens the door to Mae's room. She's laying in her bed looking toward the window. Her room was small and white, her comforter a soft blue. She had a pile of books on her old broken-down dresser. Her lifeline rests on the window sill beside her picture of her mum and he takes the black lightsaber in his hand.

It's smooth, thin and simple. The thing that made Mae's lightsaber special was the small wooden pendant that she attached to the bottom. It was a little blue flower carved and painted in the wood. The shape of the grip on the lightsaber reminded Luke of his old one, his fathers. But, it felt like only her.

The old Skywalker Saber had been lost on Bespin after Luke's first confrontation with Vader. Through the Force, it made its way back to him. It was found by scavengers, then traded to collectors and it eventually found its way into Mae's mother's hands. It was how they first met. She never planned to return it to him, but she finally did after a few days with persuasion, lightsaber lessons and some drinking. After creating the new Jedi Order, Luke thought it would be best to give it to a trusted friend for safekeeping. He didn't want it to give the school any 'bad luck,' but he also didn't want Ben and Mae to fight over it. The lightsaber had a powerful connection to the Skywalker family, something that pulled them together.

He looks at her and sighs. My little girl's so grown up now. He remembered the day she found her Kyber crystal. She took longer than the other students but she was so proud of herself. The smile she made while showing Luke her little crystal was something irreplaceable. Ben and Mae gave him hope that the Jedi would not be lost.

She makes a big snotty sniffing noise. Maybe not so grown up yet. Luke breaks the silence.

"I've told you many times to not go on the roof, yet you did so anyway. You've been rebellious and difficult to teach."

"I'm sorry Dad."

"I think you should go home."

Mae turned to face her father. Eyes angry and shocked. "But I'm not done my training. I have friends here. You can't send me home."

"It is a privilege to learn what we teach here, and you haven't been responsible. You will go home and do training there for a while. Mara will teach you."

"How can you do this? It's not fair! How can you kick me out like this?" Mae was upset.

"It's what's best for you for now."

This made Mae snap.

"You know what, I've learned more about the force from the ancient textbooks than I've ever learned from the teaching here. It's like you've been training us for another war. Aren't we supposed to be safe now?"

"What do you mean ancient textbooks, you are not old enough to be in that section of the library? Did Solo get you those books?"

"It doesn't matter. You're making the same mistakes as the old Jedi order by not teaching us about the dark side." Luke's face was half shocked, half angered.

"Mae Skywalker, you are young and naive. We're not fortunate enough to live in a world where we can't teach lightsaber combat. I teach my students the best I can then let them follow their own paths. Don't compare this place to the old Jedi Order, and don't act like you know what's best for the other students. I am the Master. You are a child."

"You don't understand!"

"Mae, no more."

"Dad, I had a dream last night and grandfather came to me, he said—"

"It was only a dream nothing more, he's been gone for a long time and you have quite the imagination." Luke has not talked to his father for years. He did not have the patience to tell Mae once again, dreams aren't real.

"What do you mean?" She yells.

"Listen to me. You're going home and if he shows up again, you are to tell your mother and I immediately. Mae, what if it wasn't him?"

"What does that mean?"

"I don't want to hear it anymore. I need you to behave and I need to think." Luke started to walk out of the room.

"No one ever listens to me! You know what? I hate being a Jedi!" Mae yelled at his back, tears running from her eyes. "I hate being a Skywalker!" Her eyes widen at her own words. She immediately regretted saying that.

Luke stopped for a moment hand on her doorknob, in the loud silence.

"I..." Mae wanted to say that she didn't mean it, but she wasn't sure if she did or not. Luke closed the door. Leaving her in the room.

As he walked away he couldn't help but think about Anakin. Was Mae telling the truth, or was it all just a dream? The last time he had seen the Force ghosts were after Anakin's funeral. He had not heard the voice of the Force for a very long time. Then, Luke thought of Ben. Ben was angry, alone, and just as emotionally unstable as Mae. Maybe, I should be sending Ben home as well. He needed time to think about it and he needed guidance. He would send Artoo with a message to an old friend.

Mae started to cry and weep into her pillow. She didn't want to leave, but at the same time, she wanted nothing more than that. She just wanted to disappear, she wanted to be normal, not the life of a Skywalker. There was so much pressure on her to be good at what her family was good at. What they seemed "chosen" for. She was desperate to see her mother and be back home on Naboo where everything was simple. She wanted to dance and swim in the waterfalls outside the city. That night, after locking herself in her room all day, Mae fell asleep to the sound of the rain pattering against her window and dreamt she was dancing in it.

Mae woke to the sounds of birds chirping and a knock on the door.

"Leave me alone." She groaned, rubbing her eyes. Ignoring her, Ben walked in carrying a tray of food and putting it on her bedside table. He pulls her blinds open, letting the sun come in. She glares at him. He sets it on her bedside table and sits on her bed near her feet.

Mae was like Ben's little annoying sister, he had to check on her.

He sits and waits for her to speak. She doesn't turn to face him but rolls her eyes.

"My dad is mad because I told him I didn't like his teachings and I hated being a Jedi." Mae finally lets out.

"I know he is."

"I hate my life."

"You're fine. Come on, get up and eat something." He looks down at his younger cousin.

Mae sighs then turn her head to look at him. "Have you ever had a dream that felt so real, you couldn't tell if it really was just a dream?"

"I don't know."

"Have you ever met grandfather in your dreams?"

His eyes widen. "I've never seen Anakin." He snaps. He wasn't lying, he just wasn't exactly telling the truth. He never met Anakin. He had dreamt of Darth Vader.

"Oh..."

Mae's about to continue speaking when Ben cuts her off. "So you really fell off the roof? I never thought that would happen. Actually, I did. I just thought you'd never get caught." He asked in a mocking tone.

"I was scared."

It was not a witty comeback from the usually witty girl. "Ben, I'm going home." She turns her head to look at him, with a sad pout.

"What why?"

"Dad doesn't want me here. I don't know if I want to be here anymore either. I just need to figure some things out."

"How long are you going to be gone? A week, a month?"

Mae shakes her head. "I don't think I'll ever come back, now that everyone knows who I am."

He didn't want to say it out loud, but he couldn't imagine staying at the temple without her. He didn't have many friends, he didn't have anyone else he trusted.

"This place... isn't enough, Ben." She looks at her lightsaber on her window still.

He understood what she felt, as he felt it too. But this place was all he had. It was all he was.

A bitterness fills his heart.