Everlasting Silence

Chapter 3

Hello this is the third chapter and now we will get to see things from Loki's point of view from childhood to adulthood.
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Tony couldn't believe it. He had found Loki's diary. He had taken it with him and was now sitting in his lab staring at it as if it would blow up any second. 

Now it got him thinking. Should he read it? He had no right. But what Nebula had said had piqued his interest. He wanted to find out what information about himself Loki had withheld. And besides this was a good way to learn about the trickster. 

He opened the first page again, the message from his mother clear. He turned to the next page. It was neatly written but you could still tell it was written by a child. Tony started reading. 

               I have decided to use you as something that will record in you my thoughts and experiences, just as I have heard some mortals do. You were a gift from my mother so I will cherish you greatly. 

Tony laughed at how it was written. It was as if he was talking to the diary itself. Shaking his head at his childish act, he continued. 

I don't really know what to write in you at the moment but I guess I will share my experiences with my family today then. The first thing I have to say is that Thor is an utter idiot. 

'Well, now I'm sure this is his diary.' Tony thought. 

He always does such stupid things. Sometimes I wonder if we are even related. The other day he actually believed that he could touch Mjolnir and got his hands burnt. And mother says I'm the mischievous one. If I hadn't healed him with the new spell I learnt he would have been punished. 

He never uses his brains when he needs to. If he didn't get high scores in studies I would have been inclined to believe that he actually was dumb. Well, what can I say he is Thor. 

I like spending time with Mother though. She teaches me all sorts of spells. She says that when I get a bit older she'll teach me how to summon weapons using my sedir. I wish I was older now so I could learn. It all sounds so fascinating. 

I love mother's voice. It's so nice. She sings us to sleep every night. When she isn't here though I get nightmares but Thor is there to calm me down. He says he'll kill all the bad monsters and never let them hurt me. 

Thor is strong so I know he will. Anyways Mother is calling me for dinner. I will write in you tomorrow. If I have anything of interest to write about, that is.

That was where the first entry ended. 

'Well he sure did write alot.' Tony thought. 'He's treating this diary as if he was his friend. Weird.'

He turned over a few pages. The next entry was a bit longer. There were a few dried drops on the side. Maybe it was raining when he wrote this. 

      I wrote a poem today for father. I had worked quite hard on it. 

'Cute', Tony thought about the poem. A drop mark was here. 

I was always good with words. Mother said so. I even skipped a day of study and risked punishment for it. I really wanted to do something nice for father and earn his praise. What better way than to use the skill that I was best at. 

I spent a long time at it. I used all of my skills and spun the words. I thought that I had done quite good. I waited until an hour before bedtime and went to search for father. 

Two more drop marks here. 

I asked a guard and learned that he was currently in a meeting. I waited outside as I was not allowed in the room during a meeting.

Thor was though. I remember that just the other day he went in the room to show his new sword. I was so scared for him but apparently he had come out quite happy. I know I could never get away with something like that. 

"Great. Favoritism for the older child." Tony muttered. He continued reading. 

Once the meeting ended many members of the council walked out. They gave me funny looks but I ignored them. I knocked at the door. Hearing Father's permission to enter I went in. 

He was looking through some pages most probably of the other realms. He looked up at me. I explained that I wrote him a poem and handed the paper to him.

Two, three drops were here together. 

He gave it a single look and put it down. He said that I could go now. He didn't read it. When I pointed it out he merely said, "And?" I saw his eye. I heard his tone. 

It was distant, cold. He didn't care. Didn't care that I had spent a whole day on it. Didn't care that I wrote it for him with my whole feelings poured into it. Didn't care about me. 

I left without another word. I managed to hold my tears back. No one should see the prince of Asgard crying. But I cannot stop them now. They won't stop falling. Why won't they stop? Why does it hurt so much? I can feel my chest constricting. I feel empty inside. I don't like it. I don't want to feel this way. 

It was then that Tony realized that these weren't raindrops. They were tears. A young Loki's tears. 

Tony felt sick. He was just a kid who wanted a few words of praise. 

'Okay, hold up you’re overreacting. Maybe the kid thought wrong. He is just a kid.' Tony thought. 'There's no way am I going to fall for a tiny sob story. My dad never praised me either. So, what if he ignored a poem? The kid must've found other ways to impress him.'

Tony tried to convince himself. But he just had a feeling in his gut that things were gonna get worse. 

Perhaps he should stop reading it. What if the others find out? What would he tell them? This is clearly a breach of personal space. 

But he also had to find out when Loki had gotten hurt. What Loki was hiding. And he could even try to find his motivation in attacking earth all those years. He had to find out. He always hated this curiosity that he had. But he really couldn't help it. 

He was in a dilemma. He wanted to keep reading. He wanted to find out what made the God of Lies to attack Earth. He wanted to know what it was that he hadn't told anyone. Not even his brother. 

But he also knew that this was something personal. He knew that if the others found out they would want an explanation. And Thor would be furious. 

So lost was Tony in his thoughts that he didn't hear the lab door open.
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Well there you have it. Hope you liked it. Sorry if it isn't that good. This is only the beginning. There will be many more instances of Loki's life mentioned including the one year with Thanos.

I am sorry for any mistakes. I will try to better my self. Thank you for reading.

Don't forget to tell me what you think. Once again sorry for mistakes.

Your sincerely,
YeranJ