Rebecca Downhill (Becca) has known nothing in her life but a strict father who is involved in businesses with the Italian mafia in NY, an absent mother who has taught her to be obedient and fulfill her duties towards the family, and a twelve years o...
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I am startled when the phone vibrates in my hand, seeing a text message coming through. And then I saw Lucas' name.
L: Becca, please tell me you're fine. Tell me you're safe. That's all I want to know. L.
That is never all he wants to know.
I plan to let it be, without any intention of replying but then again, I know he'll not stop calling and sending messages and most surely he'll fly over just to get those little words from me. That I'm fine and safe.
And I don't think I'm capable of seeing him without throwing myself into his arms.
So, I chose to send him back a short reply, hoping he'll stop. Just hoping. Because I know he won't.
The hardest step I've taken was leaving him.
Thinking back, I realize just how weak I've been during our marriage, first, melted in his arms and his love for me, constantly frightened at the thought of losing him, then feeling terrified of him, always pushed around and hurt.
And the only healing I know right now is to be away from him, taking my life in my own hands and trying to understand if Lucas will still be the center of my life even when I'm going to be strong, on my own feet, independent, and cured.
And Enzo is giving me just that, offering himself to be the pole to lean to if I'm crashing if I'm feeling empty and dry of all feelings and life.
B: I'm fine, all is good. Good night, Lucas.
L: If I call will you answer? Please, Becca.
To be completely honest, I wish nothing more than to hear his voice.
So, I search for his number in the call log of the phone, and I press the green button once I find it. He replies almost instantly before even the first ring ends.
"Becca, where are you? Are you alone?" he speaks in one breath.
I can feel the panic in his voice. I can almost see him pacing around his office, running his long, thin fingers through his hair, eyes darkened and shadowed by some frowned, black, beautiful eyebrows.
"Hey, Lucas. I can't tell you where I am, at least not yet. And yes, I'm alone."
"I'm in New York, baby. Just landed. Please tell me where you are so I can come and pick you up. Becca, I swear I'll sign those fucking divorce papers but for now I need to keep you safe."
"Lucas... I need time. Time for myself, time to think. And I am safe. Stop using this excuse..."
"I'll give you all the fucking time you need, Becca!" he brings my words to a halt as if he has never heard what I'm saying.
Silence fits in and I don't know how to react. I'm just staying frozen in my spot, listening to Lucas breathing heavily, struggling to control his anger.
