fight for me

it's called heaven

Having an actual record deal only fully sunk in a few days later when I got an email from Delilah reminding me of an upcoming meeting to potentially release my song. I went up to Shawn and told him that I finally realised I'm on my way to making it. Just like Harry.

"We need to celebrate!" Shawn grabbed my hand and led me outside to his car, we hopped in and he drove us to a cafè for a celebratory milkshake. I had the widest grin on my face until I saw what cafè we were at, "Heaven," or in other words, the cafè where Harry and I had our first date. I froze, suddenly remembering Harry and everything he had asked me here. I remembered the movie date and the way he held me, the way he squeezed my hand like he was looking for love. And it showed up, but he fucked it up. Don't forget that. Don't.

"Shawn?" Shawn looked at me, humming a 'hmm?' as we sat down at a table, and I grinned. "You're the best." Shawn chuckled then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a familiar face. "Delilah!" I laughed and she looked up, smiling herself once she saw who had yelled her name out. She stood up and gave me a hug, congratulating me on the release. I thanked her then saw Leo beside her. I eyed between them as I talked to my agent, obviously greeting Leo beforehand.

I went back to Shawn to see our milkshakes had arrived, I sipped mine, telling Shawn about Leo and Delilah.

I was on the couch with Shawn, he was sitting on one side and I was laying across it, my head on his lap as we were both scrollings through social media and whatever we were doing on our phones. It had been a few hours since our milkshake date, and we were now relaxing. "They like each other," I said, we had been discussing Leo and Delilah for the past 10 minutes.

"What makes you say that? Maybe they're just really good friends." Shawn protested, I scoffed.
"What if they're not? I mean, come on, think about it." I put my phone down on my stomach. "They're alone, in one of the most romantic cafès this city has to offer."

Shawn shrugged. "So?"

"it's called Heaven, for goodness' sake!" I argued. Shawn smiled, stroking my hair as we ruled out the possibilities of their relationship. Delilah and I had become some sort of friends so I obviously had to be the captain of their ship if they were actually dating. Now, I'm not one to bicker about my friends' relationships but Leo and Delilah, I practically had to! I mean, they were totally head over heels for each other and all I had to do was push them together a little bit, though they did seem like they did that themselves. "Fate will put them together, Shawn.'' Shawn nodded in agreement.

Some time down the road, and it was the night of Shawn and I's second month anniversary. In this time, I decided to collectively do something with my life. I had gone on to release my song and a couple more actually, while an album was in the making and I was very content when I noticed I was nominated for a Grammy. Shawn had gone into modelling himself and was doing pretty great. Everything was perfect - well, almost everything.

Harry was now a successful, rather popular artist, deemed 'the best of this year.' And honestly, sometimes when he'd pop up on the TV and give the camera that award-winning smile or his dimples showed or he fiddled with his rings, it made me miss him. Lots. I love Shawn but I really needed someone like Harry in my life, but sadly, he left my life before we could start our own.

Shawn would immediately turn the TV off or switch channels when he saw Harry, he must've assumed I was hurt, I wasn't really, I was just trying to convince myself I wasn't in love with his chocolatey locks or his green eyes, that were more than just the plain old green - they had life in them. It was like getting lost in a forest, the hue of life, the beauty of nature coming to life. On the TV, his eyes were no longer the beautiful emerald shade they were prior to our break up, his eyes were now nothing but the same shade as a foot tramped, mucky grass.

But anyhow, it was Grammy's night and I was in Shawn's bathroom finishing up my hair. I ran my hand through it then exited the bathroom, Shawn was waiting for me. I sighed, smiling softly as I grabbed his hand and walked out to his car. "I love you," I spoke up as he drove out of the driveway, he smiled then returned the words. The rest of the drive and walking in and finding our seat was all silent. I listened to everything, clapped at the right times and even smiled at some winners. Then came the category I was nominated for, and in a second, as the presenter said 'the winner is..' I clutched my eyes shut but then, my name was announced. I stood up, Shawn smiling at me as I made my way onto the stage and took the award. "Uh, thank you. I honestly wasn't expecting to win but I'd just like to quickly thank my manager, everyone who helped in the making of my album, my boyfriend for supporting me through this whole thing and of course my amazing fans." And the crowd erupted in claps. I came down from the stage and left the award at our table before heading to the bathroom.

When I came out of the stall, I felt hands push me against a wall, I groaned then looked up to meet green eyes. "Harry!" I yelped, biting my lip. Harry smirked and before I knew it, he was leaning down and kissing just below my ear. His hand had trailed down my side and was making its way onto my ass as he whispered, "Well, kitten, haven't I missed you?"

"Harry, I-" I was stopped by the door swinging open and we both looked over to see Shawn leaning on the wall with his arms crossed.

"Hello, it's a pretty nice view, I must admit but that's my job now, pretty boy." He came over and ripped Harry off me, I just kept my eyes on the floor as Shawn basically dragged me back to our seats. And it was at that moment, that I regretted every decision that led me here.