fight for me

perfection

After that night, I slowly stopped hanging out with Shawn more and more, the late-night calls weren't really a big thing now, nor were the texts and even the 'i love you's'. It was all kind of...gone, really. Shawn said there was still a flame, but I, on the other hand, had extinguished it. It didn't fully feel like we were in love, perhaps that was mainly my fault but I couldn't help it if Shawn was just too innocent for me. Maybe he was a tad bit too full-on with the care and the worries and everything. I needed someone like Harry. Harry was caring, at the right times, Harry worried, at the right times and Harry did almost everything, at the right times.

Of course, no way in hell would I actually tell Harry or Shawn that. I had a hard time admitting it to even myself, they were only thoughts that crept into my mind late at night when I couldn't sleep. And maybe they were there when I was alone. That night, a week ago, when Harry pinned me to the wall in the bathroom, I was slightly shocked as anyone would be but I was really happy to see his green eyes and his plump lips and hear his voice that I forgot we weren't a thing anymore and that I was supposed to hate him. He had that beautiful emerald tint in his eyes again and I've been wondering since that night if I was what caused Harry's eyes to be so beautiful in that moment, so full of hope, so full of love, I could only hope I was the reason after all. Perhaps he was just drunk and it was just a drunken mistake. Though I secretly hoped he meant it.

I didn't want to admit I had fallen out of love with Shawn, nor did I want to be the one to break up with him so that same day while I was pondering on which movie to watch out of all the ones Harry had gifted me as a moving in gift, my phone beeped and I looked at it.

(1 unread message) Shawn:

"I think we need to talk, Ni. Come over."

No hearts, no 'x's, no pet names. just plainly 'Ni' and come over so I got up, left my house and walked to his. I was fiddling with my fingers as I walked, finally reaching his door. He opened the door on the first knock like he had been waiting by the door, which he probably had been, to be honest with you. We both sat and he sighed,

"Niall, I really like you. Really. And it's been really fun these past two months and you're really great and I love spending time with y-" I cut him off,

"Cut to the chase, Mendes." I hissed, and at that moment, I realised I had changed. I was no longer the boy who had dreamed about marrying Shawn or being called 'Niall Mendes', I was no longer the boy that spent every waking moment with Shawn or the one that made him breakfast in bed every Sunday. I was the boy who now had fallen out of love with him, who sometimes ignored his 'goodnight, I love you' texts and texted back 'goodnight,' and the boy who never actually wanted to be at his house and preferred to think about Harry than his boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend I suppose.

"I think it's time we go our separate ways. I want to break up." I don't know why but at that moment, my heart did ache a bit. Just a bit. Because I did love him just as not as much and hearing those words come out of his mouth, in that tone, that 'I'm letting you down easy,' tone, it kinda tore my heart out of my chest. I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Fair enough." I nodded my head, got up and left. I didn't want to give him the pleasure of seeing my pain nor my happiness, I didn't want to give him the pleasure of seeing me at all.

I sat on my couch, I had nothing to do. Barely any friends to run to so I dialled my agent, she was trustworthy and I adored her. "Delilah?" I spoke up and heard her hushed hello, smiled and replied. "Hey! So funny story," I forcibly laughed. "Shawn and I broke up, haha and now I'm kinda lonely, ha." I laughed again, I sounded pathetic I know but I did have a better reaction than I did with Harry. We talked for a bit and she decided she'd come over before I moped around which, to be fair, wouldn't happen any time from today. She was at my door in less than an hour.

"Love! It's been a while," Delilah grinned and I smiled, nodding in agreement. She came in and we discussed Shawn, I let out a happy sigh at the end, she'd manage to cheer me up again.

"So, I have news." She spoke up, and I perked up in my seat on the island, motioning for her to continue.

"Leo and I," She grinned widely. "We're a thing. We're together." And I practically squealed, like a girl.

"Oh my goodness! That's so exciting, do you have a ship name? I can come up with one! Have you gone on dates, oh goodness I bet you two are so cute, oh my-"

"Niall, chill. Seriously." She laughed and so did I. I haven't really had a friend to hang out with like this lately, it was all just Shawn, Shawn, Shawn. This felt nice.

"Okay, sorry but bring him 'round some time!" I offered, she smiled and nodded as she dropped a small comment that she would make note of the invite. I felt happy, I was happy. There was just one thing missing. Harry.

When Delilah left after I had been set on calling her Lilah, I called Harry. He picked up after 3 rings.

"Niall? Niall!" He sounded excited beyond words, his voice was music to my ears.

"Hi, Haz. I miss you." I admitted without thinking and he, probably without thinking either, invited me to his apartment for a quick drink. I looked at the clock, it was five past ten at night. I sighed but nodded. "Alright." I grabbed my keys and shoved my phone into my pocket once I had hung up.

I headed to the car and drove to the given address, biting my lip. What was it with today? It seemed like I had the most friends in the world, well, I don't have luck with friends, really. I parked in front of Harry's house. I bit my lip, it was quite huge. Mine was nothing compared to his. I went up to the door and knocked, after a few knocks, Harry stood before me in all his Harry fucking Styles glory.

"Niall! Oh goodness, I'm so sorry about.." He paused "Everything." He hugged me tightly and I hugged him back, it felt good to see and hear him so happy to see me, so happy to hold me. We pulled away and went to his kitchen where he poured us both a glass of red wine.

"I've missed you so much. God, I was such an idiot that night."

"It's okay, Haz. It's been four months." And it had been, four months since Harry had left. Three months since I fell apart because of the breakup. Two months since Shawn and I had dated and one month since I fell back in love with Harry. Harry smiled and came closer.

"You and that boy of yours, are you..?" He started, and when I told him we were over, his eyes filled with joy. We drank our glasses then went to the couch, ready to watch a movie. After 25 minutes of browsing Netflix, the opening credits to Deadly Switch started to play and I might have scooted closer to Harry and leaned into him and he might've put his arm around me and rested his cheek on my head, either way, I was comfortable.

He turned his head and tilted my chin up, I looked into his eyes and if I kissed him, I don't kiss and tell. We somehow bought our attention back to the movie and as the movie began to finish, I noticed our hands were intertwined. I loved the warm feeling of it.

"Ni, do you wanna spend the night?" He looked down at me and I didn't hesitate in nodding. Harry smiled, took my hand and handed me a hoodie of his I could sleep in, it was a cute gesture so I couldn't say no.

Once we were both changed and ready for bed, Harry dove in then finally made some space for me by shifting to the side a little. I chuckled, shook my head and joined him. We cuddled until we fell asleep and that, that was perfection and fuck had I missed perfection.