Death on Holiday

Chapter 12

It wasn't until later that night we got any information. By then they'd grabbed me and brought me out of my shocked state. I wasn't alone, the way I was acting. Pheobe and her siblings were all the same as me. Now that I think about it, no one seemed quite themselves that day. Maybe a couple people here and there, but nearly everyone acted like a ghost of their usual selves.

Because of the uncertainty regarding the current state of the volcano, no one could get on or off both the island and our cruise ship. Pheobe's and my mum were stuck on the mainland for who knew how long. We had to move ourselves, in case it erupted again and somehow reached or harmed Paradise. But the worst news was hearing about the island's occupants. Our friends and family were stuck there. Who knew if anyone was even alive over there! I think everyone just assumed there were no survivors, or they'd all miraculously found shelter and would be fine for a few more days. I didn't understand why we couldn't go and save them. The needed our help! We could provide it! Only because we were too 'chicken' we wouldn't head over.

It was all my fault. That's all I kept thinking in my head. If only I'd gone along with Harvey and the others. Then I'd know. Or maybe we'd have already been back on the return boat at the time of the eruption. I would never know for sure what would have happened if I'd joined them, but at that time in my life, I would have killed myself to know if they were alright. Uninjured. Breathing. I couldn't speak the next word.

We had to have dinner all alone that night. Alone at our table (now we all fit on one), Ben was in charge. Though it didn't matter. None of us were going to cause any trouble. Well, apart from Luke.

"But surely they're all okay", Pheobe had been saying at the time. "They can't be..." I looked up to see her staring at me, tears threatening to spill.

No one said anything... apart from Luke.

"What?" he asked, cutting his meat with elbows sticking out, jabbing into Ben. "You mean dead?"

Pheobe cried out. Marie looked over to her three elder sisters in horror. Ben stared at his little brother in shock.

I stood up. Like my own volcano was bubbling inside me, and I decided to let it go.

"No".

My voice was deathly quiet. I was shaking, the fork in my hand trembling. Jack reached out to take it away, but I slammed it down, causing everyone to stare around at me. "NO!" I screamed, before running out of the restaurant. No one followed me.

*****

I slept badly that night. I dreamed about them. Dad and Brendon. Mr Watson and Chloe. Mr Johnson. Max. Harvey. It was scary. I saw them grasping hands, reaching out for me to save them. I heard their terrified screams of horror as they were overtaken by rock, ask and lava. They disappeared from view as soon as I tried to help. I felt the burning begin in my legs, my throat aching from my screaming.

I woke again to see Jack staring at me, holding my shoulders. "Emily, it's okay, calm down", I heard him say shakily.

"Are they here?" I asked again.

He shook his head.

I shrank back, pushing his hands away. As my brother glanced nervously at me, I rolled over. I didn't want to see him, or more accurately, I didn't want him to see me like this. I knew deep down I was a mess. But there was no way I could be cured. How could I be happy and go on with my life like nothing had happened, when it was all my fault they were, or already, dead?