Floating in the Abyss ✔️

Chapter 35

Not one of the boys looked convinced when I said I was fine, but I wasn't lying when I said it. I wanted to say I'd dealt with worse, but they weren't going to believe me, and it was only going to make them feel bad.

Of course this woman shouldn't have said anything to me. It was common sense to know that, but they were overreacting a little bit. I wasn't complaining at all though. It was nice to have people who cared a lot.

"Ash?" Austin said to me whilst we were eating dinner. Everyone slowed down and went quiet as they listened. It was the first time he had spoken directly to me.

"Yeah?" I said quietly. My heart raced.

"You said that police officer saved you. Saved you from what?" He spoke slowly, and I could see Laura get nervous.

"My, um, our, birth father, was the one who abducted me, as you know." I started, getting the courage to tell everything. "He had another wife, but I don't remember if she was always there, or if it was just him and I to begin with. They were gone most of the time, I'm not sure where they would go, but sometimes they would be gone for days. They were never, um, right, when they came back. I'm pretty sure they took drugs, like, a lot of drugs, and they were always drinking alcohol. Sometimes the alcohol would make them angry, especially at me. I was just in the way, I guess."

"Oh honey." Laura interrupted, slightly teary.

"Did they hurt you?" Nick asked. He was impossible to read.

I didn't answer, just sat, leaving my head hanging.

After long moments of silence that felt like ages, I spoke.

"I'm not really hungry anymore."

"That's okay Ash, you can leave if you would like." Chris told me kindly. I left my plate and went to my room. I closed the door behind me and slid to the floor, letting the tears flow down my face.

I didn't understand why I could cry here but never used to.

I was shaking and felt as if I no longer had any control over my body. My left hand gripped my right wrist, holding tightly, squeezing to release tension. Nothing is wrong, Ash. Nothing is wrong. You're safe now.

No matter how many times I told myself that, the flashbacks continued to play.

Hitting the ground.

Cold slap to the face.

Black.

Nothing.

They continued to play even when I opened my eyes, even when I breathed deeply. Nothing was working.

"Ash?" Said a voice, gently knocking on my door. When I didn't respond, I felt pressure on my back as the door was opened. I wasn't very heavy, and everyone in this house was bigger and stronger than me, which meant whoever was trying to open the door could easily slide the door open, pushing me with it. I was pushed forward enough that Austin was able to slip into the room. He gasped upon seeing me and immediately sat down next to me.

"You're hurting yourself." He pulled my grip, freeing my other wrist. It was close to purple, complete with small round bruises where my fingertips were. "Ash!" He gasped, keeping a hold of both my wrists so I couldn't do it again. I leant forward, dropping my head into his chest. He pulled me close and just sat there as I cried.

It was strange, sitting here, being held by someone I barely knew, but at the same time, it wasn't. He was my twin brother. We had something not many people had. Only 3.4% of births each year result in twins.

"I'm sorry I asked." He said. "And I'm sorry for everything else. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did when you got here."

"It's okay," I told him, sitting up and giving a small smile.

"No it's not." He told me seriously. "And neither is that." He pointed at my wrist. I hadn't done that before. I'd never felt like that before.

"Don't tell, please."

"I have too!" He looked shocked.

"Please, I don't want anyone to worry." I begged.

"Bit late." He gave me a look.

"Promise?"

"No, I'm not promising. I can't." I glared at him. "Are you okay?"

I took a moment before responding, "Yeah, I'm okay." And I wasn't lying. I wasn't amazing, but I wasn't bad either.

"Promise?"

"No, I'm not promising. I can't." I mocked quietly.

"Very funny." I felt like he understood. "But actually promise?"

"I promise."

"And you'll tell me if you're not?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to go get some food? You didn't really eat anything."

"Watching me now?"

"Maybe." He winked.

I followed him into the kitchen and watched as he dug around the pantry.

"Where is everyone?"

"Probably working or doing homework. I said I'd come and see you. Ooh, cake in a cup!"

"Huh?"

"This." Austin handed me a box, with a picture of cake in a coffee mug.

"That's a small cake, and doesn't it usually go on a plate?"

"Yeah, but this is like cake-for-one and it cooks in the microwave."

We each got a mug and poured our mixes in, grabbing a measuring spoon and a stirring spoon. I nearly spilt the milk everywhere, sending Austin into a fit of laughter. Eventually, after much longer than it should have taken, we put the mugs in the microwave and watched as they slowly spun in circles. The microwave played a short song at the end, making me almost levitate in fright, which of course, Austin laughed at.

We each got a large scoop of ice cream on top of our cake and then sat down at the kitchen bench.

"How is it?" He asked after I took my first bite.

"H-hot!" I giggled, trying to fan the food in my mouth. He laughed but did the same when he took a bite.

"Mix more ice cream with it. It cools it down." I followed his advice and it was surprisingly effective. "Feeling better?"

"Much, thank you." I smiled. It was amazing how many emotions I could feel in such a short amount of time.

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