Chapter 1

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My story started 26 years ago. I was born as daughter of Hiram and Hermione Lodge, two really successful business owners in Manhattan, New York. They called me Veronica Cecilia Lodge.
Veronica, the one who brings victory. I always had to live up to this name but I often failed.
I grew up in the public eye. People watched every single thing I did and judged every single thing I said. I always had to be perfect. As a baby, as child, as teenager. I never had a normal life. I'm not saying I had a horrible childhood, I didn't. It was just very different.
I got everything I wanted and had everything a girl could dream of. Hundreds of expensive dresses, endless Louis Vuitton and Chanel purses, makeup, a stylist a Chauffeur, even attention and love from my parents even though it wasn't much. That also means that I never lived in the real world. Some people used me to get to my stuff or start their own career. I only had a few friends. Most of them run away because they couldn't handle the paparazzi who were following me everywhere which i completely understand.
My life changed dramatically when my dad got arrested and my mom and I lost all the money. She had to work two jobs now and I worked as a waitress to earn extra money. The public lost interest in us quickly and suddenly we were normal. I wasn't used to it. So in the beginning I trusted way to many people. One of them was my first boyfriend. I was 17 and he seemed perfect. In retrospect I can tell you he was not. He was controlling and manipulative. But I didn't see it back then. I was naive and just enjoyed having someone who told me how beautiful I was and kissed me and held me.

I just got used to my "new" life when it got turned upside down again.
It was a Saturday. My boyfriend Michael and I went to a Senior High School Party. We were about to graduate a week later. We had a lot of fun but drank way to much. We were completely wasted and like stupid, hormonal teenagers we went up to the guest room, locked the door and made out. One thing led to another and before I even realized it we were naked. We did it in someone else's bed and to this day I'm really embarrassed about this. Anyway we did it without thinking twice without protection so I got pregnant, at 18.

I was completely overwhelmed. My mom and I had barely enough money for the two of us. How were we supposed to take care of a baby. But nevertheless i wanted to keep it. I never even thought about abortion, not once. My mom was shocked first but completely supported my decision. I was more scared of telling Michael.

"Michael I need to tell you something" Veronica sniffs as she look at her boyfriend. Her hands are on her stomach.

"Mhm" he mumbles. He doesn't look at her though. His eyes are on the tv.

"I'm pregnant"

"What? How? Why?" he says loudly but is still not looking at her.

"Cheryl's party"

He sighs. He puts his controller aside and turns towards her for the first time.
"Fuck, Veronica. I'm 18. I don't want a kid!"

"But I want it"

"That's okay but I don't want this" he says and points to her belly. "I won't play a huge part in its life"

"Please don't leave me alone with this" Veronica cries. She's shaking and actually hoping for a hug but Michael just smiles. "Listens Veronica I'll go to California in two weeks for college. I'll help you till then but after that I never wanna hear anything about this thing again" He kisses her head before he takes his controller back into his hands and keeps playing his video game.

Veronica nods. She lies down next to him on the bed and caresses her stomach carefully. A little smile develops on her face. She can't wait to feel it move or find out the gender. She can't wait to hold it in her arms and have a little partner for life. Yes she's young and she's has to rearrange her whole life but that's absolutely worth it for her. She believes that everything happens for a reason and when god decided to send her a little angel he will have his reasons.

I have no idea why I lied down next to him. If I could go back in time I would probably slap hell out of him and leave but back then I was so scared and overwhelmed that I accepted all the help possible.
But Michael wasn't helpful at all, on the contrary he made a lot of things more complicated. I was happy when he finally left but also heart broken. My first love left me because he didn't want his child. Back then I didn't realize how toxic our relationship was. I'm so happy now that he's not a part of my child's life. She doesn't need him.
I could always count on my mom though and my best friend Betty. I went to visit my dad before I started showing. Just like my mom he was shocked at first but then very happy for me. He told me he was sure I would be a great mom and that he couldn't wait to get out of jail and hold his first grandchild.
I texted Michael a few times if he wanted any sonogram pictures of his child but he never answered so I stopped and let him go which finally set me free.

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Thanks for reading the first chapter of my new book. ☺️
The first few chapters may seem a little rushed but I promise it will get better ✨

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