The Hidden Card || NCT MAFIA

Chapter eighteen: Bad habits

Taeyong rubbed his tired eyes and threw his jacket on a chair next to the door, making his way to his desk while running a hand through his wet hair.

The last thing he wanted to do at the moment was to talk, but he knew that Kun would never bother him if it wasn't important.

With a heavy sigh, he let himself fall on the chair behind his desk, not even looking at the man seated in front of him. Without a word, his hand reached for the drawer on his left and he got out a cigarette and a lighter.

Kun stayed silent as well, observing meticulously his leader's every move. Taeyong had never been good with words, but his actions, however, were quite expressive of his feelings. That's why Kun had learnt to analyze them all.

Taeyong hadn't been smoking for a while, he only did it when he felt like he was going to break, an soon, the intoxicating smell of tobacco filled the room. Taeyong closed his eyes as he let out a puff of smoke.

"Are you alright?"

Kun's voice suddenly broke the comforting silence. He already knew the answer, of course. Taeyong's every move and dull face screamed agony.

Such a simple question only asked for an easy answer.

"No."

Taeyong didn't open his eyes as he replied, his voice so monotonous one could believe he didn't even care. But Kun knew better.

"You wanted to talk," he continued, "I'm listening."

Kun wanted to say that their conversation could wait, but it couldn't. Taeyong had been suffering on his own for far too long.

"You know," the younger male began, "you've always had terrible habits."

Taeyong dryly chuckled in response, "And what are they?"

"Well, for starters, you always think you can lie to me, which is obviously wrong."

"Yeah, Doyoung and you always had a gift to read me somehow," Taeyong hardly admitted, a painful smile on his lips. "And what are the others?"

"You always want to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders."

The sentence seemed to affect Taeyong more than Kun's previous words, because he suddenly opened his eyes to look at him.

He let out a sad laugh, "I'm the Devil, remember? Taking responsibility of other people isn't exactly my thing..."

"Except for the ones close to you," Kun noted. "I said it before, you can't lie to me. Stop trying. Don't put on a show for me in here."

"Is this what you wanted to talk about?" Taeyong spoke after taking a drag on his cigarette, letting the faint smoke partially hide his face for a second.

"Sort of..."

The change in Kun's voice made Taeyong straighten in his chair, resting both of his elbows on the desk to properly face the young man in front of him.

"What is it, Kun?"

Taeyong's eyes, previously elusive, were now buried in Kun's serious orbs. He was right, Taeyong could act tough all he wanted, that would never change the fact that he cared.
He cared about his members more than they could imagine, and the thought of one of them being uncomfortable made him feel uneasy.

"I know," Kun spoke, trying so hard to maintain the eye contact with his leader.
"I know about everything you've been trying to hide from us."

His voice was almost a whisper, and he stayed still, observing Taeyong's face closely, looking for any trace of surprise.
But the leader's face remained blank, his eyes still focusing on Kun, waiting for him to continue.

"Well, I mean, we know."

"Who's 'we'?" Taeyong asked.

"WayV."

Taeyong snorted, "You trained them well, I see. Was it some kind of training?"

"Not really," Kun replied. He had expected another reaction from him. "I just wanted to find out what was wrong with you, and asked them to help."

Taeyong nodded knowingly.

"I see."

They stayed silent for a few seconds, one of them deep in thought, while the other one was clearly uncomfortable with the topic.

"So..." Kun trailed off, "that's it?"

Taeyong raised his head to look at him again.

"What do you mean?"

"That's the only reaction you're going to give me after I tell you that I found out your dirty secret?"

"What else did you expect?" The leader shrugged.

"I don't know, I thought maybe you'd get angry at us for following you or something..."

"You did a good job, I have to admit. But to be honest I'm more relieved than anything."

"Relieved?"

"Yes. Like you said, it's a huge weight on my shoulders, and I'm relieved that it's finally a bit lighter now that you know about it."

Kun nodded. He was putting himself in his leader's shoes, and to be perfectly honest, even though he was missing half of the information about the situation, he didn't think he'd be able to put up with a supposedly dead brother while keeping it a secret.

"You do realize that we still need to talk about it, though, right?"

Taeyong sighed, "Yes, I know. But not tonight, I'm exhausted. Let's talk in the morning."

Kun's chest suddenly felt heavy, guilt making its way to his heart. Now that he looked at Taeyong from a different angle, he realized how pathetic his usually fierce leader looked. He was right, it would do them no good to talk about it right now. It could wait.

"Yes, of course," Kun agreed. "But I do have a quick question before I leave."

"Fire away."

Kun shifted awkwardly on his seat for a moment, not sure how to formulate it.

"Does... Does Iseul know?"

Taeyong's gaze abruptly turned darker than the night outside the windows, and he stared at Kun with such intensity he felt himself paralyzed. He hated when his leader did that, it was like he had the power to freeze people with just a look.

"No," he spoke in a low tone, "and she mustn't know, under any circumstances."

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Hi, I'll only publish on weekends for the weeks to come, because I don't have time to write, hope you liked this chapter