The Hidden Card || NCT MAFIA

Chapter twenty-one: Honesty goes both ways

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"Thank you."

Iseul didn't know how long they had been standing like this, in each other's arms on the balcony, but it felt like hours and seconds at the same time.

Taeyong had broken the silence to speak up, his voice low as he slowly detached himself from her, already missing her warmth.

"What for?"

"For being there for me. For being so patient with me when I'm being a dick."

She chuckled, but the look in her eyes was enough for Taeyong to know that she still cared for him nonetheless.

"Wait," he spoke again, this time staring at her with a disapproving look on his face. "What were you still doing up anyway?"

Iseul looked down and bit her lip, not daring to meet his eyes, scared to see the inner demons haunting her in them.

"I, uh..."

"Iseul," Taeyong spoke in a husky voice, gently putting his index under her chin to make her properly face him. "You said you wanted honesty, right? Well that goes both ways, sweetheart, and I need you to talk to me."

This side of him was totally unknown and new to her, and she was taken aback for a few seconds before deciding that she liked this soft Taeyong.

"I'm having trouble sleeping..." she admitted.

"Why's that?"

While Taeyong's finger on her face made her cheeks heat up and maintained her face in front of his, Iseul couldn't help but try to avoid his gaze.

"I'm having nightmares."

Taeyong let go of her face, his hand falling back to his side as he tilted his head a little.

"Nightmares?"

Iseul nodded shyly, biting her lower lip.

"What about? Since when?"

Now that she had said it, Taeyong finally noticed how changed Iseul was. She had dark circles under her pretty eyes, and her cheeks had grown hollow. How could he not have noticed it?

"About... my father, and... you know..."

He could see that the subject made her uncomfortable, but he needed to know in order to help her. He wanted Iseul to know that he was there for her, just like she was for him.

"Since I..."

Iseul's voice became shaky, as if she was about to cry, and Taeyong tried to find the right words for her.

"Since you took his life?" he gently spoke and she nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat.

Taeyong cursed under his breath.
How stupid could he get? Of course the poor girl would be traumatized. She had put a bullet through her father's skull. It probably had been the first time that she had even held a gun in her life before, let alone take someone's life. Someone that -even if they were a monster- still mattered to her.

Truth was, it was so natural for Taeyong and the rest of them to feel the familiar metal against their skin and use it, that he had forgotten it wasn't the case for Iseul.

She seemed so strong all the time, it had never occurred to him that she could feel this way, when in reality, it was so normal that he blamed himself for not noticing it earlier.

"I'm sorry," Iseul sniffled, snapping him out of his thoughts. "I must sound so silly, talking to you about this when that's literally your job..."

"Don't."

His tone was implacable, his hands making their way to her shoulders so he could look at her in the eye.

"Don't say such things," he spoke, almost in a whisper. "What you're telling me is everything but silly. I'm the one who's ridiculous for not thinking about the consequences this act would have on you."

He took a deep breath, slowly wiping a tear falling down her rosy cheek.

"Truth is, it became so... natural to us, that we tend to forget about the fact that it shouldn't be. That's not what normal people do. What you're feeling is absolutely normal, and I'm the one who's sorry for not noticing and helping you earlier."

She gave him a weak smile.

"But I'm here, now."

His tone expressed his determination, and it made Iseul feel warm inside, to see that things seemed to get better between them. She hadn't realized how heavy the situation had been to her.

"Thank you," she truthfully said. "Let's be honest with each other from now on."

Iseul didn't know why, but she noticed the quick change on Taeyong's face, and how his body seemed to suddenly tense up at her words. It only lasted for a second, however, but it was enough for her to notice it.

Before he could reply, another voice interrupted them.

"Sorry to interrupt..."

They both turned around to meet the person who had made their way on the balcony, and the intimate bubble they had created around them suddenly popped, bringing them back to reality, cold air hitting their faces.

"What is it, Jeno?" Taeyong sighed, annoyed that he had been interrupted, and grateful he didn't have to reply at the same time.

"Kun-hyung wants to see you."

Jeno's eyes didn't leave his leader's hand still on Iseul's shoulder, his tone flat as he observed the two.

Taeyong was about to speak up, but the youngest was faster once again, "He wants to see you now."

The leader exhaled loudly, shooting an apologetic smile to Iseul, who smiled back.

"It's fine, we've talked, that's all I wanted, you can go back to work," she assured.

"Try to get some sleep, alright?" he whispered to her when he bent down a little so he could place a gentle kiss on her temple.

Without another word, Taeyong walked away, joining Jeno next to the door, who was glaring at his leader.

When the oldest finally reached his spot, expecting Jeno to follow him out, he noticed how the boy was now looking at Iseul.

"Aren't you coming?" Taeyong asked with a low voice, trying to hide his annoyance.

"No, Kun-hyung only wanted to see you. He said it was private and urgent," Jeno replied without even sparing him a glance.

"Then go to sleep, you have work tomorrow."

"No, I don't, and I'm going to walk Iseul back to her room."

Taeyong scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Well you do now. You'll be cleaning the house first thing in the morning."

"What? Why?"

"Because I'm ordering you to," Taeyong replied sternly.

He was about to leave, but turned around one last time, "As for Iseul, I'm sure she can go back to her room on her own. Our house isn't that big."

And with that, he walked out, leaving a frowning Jeno standing in the doorway.

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