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"sorry for what?" sana asked, focusing on every feature on chaeyoung's face. "for being a dickhead to you" chaeyoung said, gravelly looking down at the street not daring to meet sana's eyes.
"but you weren't" chaeyoung scoffed at that, smiling lightly.
"sana..." chaeyoung looked at sana with a sad smile and regretful eyes. "i was, i ghosted you without even giving a reason to at least give you some closure" chaeyoung rambled, playing with her hand. "and i don't know, i just didn't want to get more attached to you than i already was, i-i am sorry" chaeyoung faced the wall, her face creased and her fists closed so tight she can feel the sweat trapped inside them.
chaeyoung's guilt is eating her up she didn't want sana to see her cry, she tried to hold tears. so when she cried there was a rawness to it, the regret was filling stacks in her throat. She clasped onto the top rail of the balcony for support, her whole body was shaking lightly. her sobs were stifled at first as she attempted to hide her pain and guilt, then it was overcome by the wave of her emotions she broke down entirely, all her defences washed away in those salty tears.
to sana to see with vivid vision.
she at last turned her face to sana, chaeyoung at that point was a picture of regret, guilt, and devastation. it was the face of one who had suffered with love and rejection before and didn't know if she could do it again.
then, just when sana thought the breakthrough would come and that chae would finally trust her fully with her vulnerability, the shutters would come down, chaeyoung's emotion walled off behind a mask of coping. she would just wear it until everything was right again, chaeyoung didn't know another way.
"i am s-sorry" chaeyoung sobbed, sana didn't like to see her in such state. she loves chaeyoung to death and would anything to comfort her.
"heh, it's okay darling" sana said, smiling softly to comfort the younger girl, she went closer to the rail, and sat near the edge. her legs passing through the base rails, her feet hanging in the air.
she tries to reach chaeyoung's body, her hand stretching. "chaeee, hold my hands" chaeyoung chuckled at the girl's childish behavior. she souped her position holding sana's hand.
"look at me, and only me" sana whispered softly, her eyes never leaving chae's lips. "s-sure" chaeyoung said, her voice still crooked.
"uhm, wanna hang out with me during lunch near the bleachers" sana asked, with pleading eyes, trying to find any nuance of discomfort.
chaeyoung giggled instead, nodding her head like a child. "i'd love to"
_______
weird love, anyways i am single forever.. love is only nice in fiction i guess
