Melancholy - poem

Bicycle

I thought today was going to be okay
That's my thought every day.
Wishing for a happy sky
Butterflies glittering around
A cloudy sunny sky,
The neighborhood active
Watching children yell outside
Ready to play their next bicycle game
Called follow the leader.
However
It never happens.
My summer plans were to ride
Down my neighborhood,
Maybe sneak into town grab some candy.
But I'm forced to deal with no ordinary home,
And no ordinary child like them could ever
Be like me.
You see I'm always alone,
Riding this bike weary of eyes
But try to shake it off
While I carry a bag of heavy rocks
Burdened from the house
I can no longer call home.
So while they jump hopscotch,
I jump at the sight of every single move he makes
They throw ball,
I throw punches to my pillow.
They wipe dirt off their pants,
I wipe tears off my face.
Maturity has been my friend
Before I knew what it meant.
There's a stereotype for being sad,
It makes it hard to be seen
When you have to look sad to be noticed.
But a smiling face doesn't mean I'm happy,
Like a cracked vase doesn't mean it's broken.
I just want to ride my bicycle,
Feel the wind in my hair,
Look up in the trees and fall in love with nature.
But in one day it all vanished,
My whole life vanished before my eyes.
I'm tired of change,
No matter how much I want to drag my feet
Life still drags me along.
It passes...
Even when I wish I had the childhood I deserved.
As always I have to trade their toys for armor.
But I don't know who I would be
If I was a normal child.
Maybe normal is overrated.
At least for me...