Ruins (The Jewel Project #6)

11. Unexpected Help

Angie twisted her coffee cup between her hands. It smelled amazing. She'd always had a thing for the smell of coffee, something that might have to do with where her first dates with Tom took place.

The thought would've usually made her scoff, but over the past few months, she'd found that the memories were pleasant. He'd been right. She couldn't turn back time and undo anything.

And what she'd had with Tom didn't deserve to be undone. The more time she spent without him, the more she realized how special it had been, how much it meant. No matter where she went and what she did, nothing compared to the life she'd left behind. Which was exactly why she was sitting here in the open for once.

Come on, where are you? I actually do want to talk this time.

Even if she kept looking over her shoulder, she hadn't spotted him in months. At first, it wasn't anything abnormal. He was, after all, very skilled at blending in and going unnoticed, which was very impressive given how tall and good-looking he was. Also, she'd moved closer and closer to Chicago to give him the chance to go and see his family. Then she'd just assumed he was there, maybe enjoying a few silent weeks.

It had never crossed her mind that he may not come back. What if he'd just stopped after their last interaction?

Impossible. It was the one time she'd actually showed him that she still wanted him around. That kiss still made her shudder, fueled her imagination. Kept her warm in the coldest and loneliest of nights.

She leaned back into her chair and stared out the window. People hurried past, none of them sparing her a second glance.

Where are you?

Her stomach tightened with nerves and she returned her attention to her mug. It all felt pointless now. Tom had been right. She'd run away hoping she could pretend none of the bad things in her life had happened. But she couldn't be sixteen again. Couldn't truly care about making a living when she didn't need to. Couldn't make real friends when she already had the best ones she could hope for and who she missed.

Truth was, she missed her old life. She even thought about the time Kay was over all the time and suffocated her as being better than all she'd been through since she'd walked away.

Yes, she'd had a rough year with her entire family being killed and her and Tom falling apart, but so had everyone. And not until she spent so much time away from them did it come crashing down that the support among them made everything bearable.

Tom doing what he did, leaving her, it pulled her out of grieving for her family. Then, when she found out he'd cheated on her, she stopped suffering over him leaving.

One giant pain to replace another. At least until he told her he still loved her and wanted to be with her, if she'd take him back.

It was in that one moment when something good came her way that she cracked under the weight of all the bad. She'd thought space and isolation would help her figure it out. It only made her more confused, flipped her priorities, who she was. So much so that she'd used Tom for her own selfish desires.

The thought still made her cringe and sent an uncomfortable knot into her stomach. What she'd done at Sam's wedding had been inconceivable. The jealousy, the pettiness...The sheer lack of any care or consideration for the people she loved, who loved her back. The only family she had left.

And with those new mistakes weighing her down, she'd ran again. Tom had found her immediately, and even if she'd been shocked, thrilled, she'd sent him away.

Months later, after he approached her the second time, she finally saw what everyone else was seeing. She was running. What from, she wasn't exactly sure, but it wasn't for some noble reason like she tried do tell herself. It wasn't to make a better life for herself, like Tom so kindly pointed out.