Reminisce | Mitsukou

V I I I : c

Eight : Taken by surprise.

―

❝ That's not what I wanted anymore. ❞

― ✧ ―

How long will this keep
going on. . ?

Mitsuba rested his head on his knees, sitting in the corner of his bed. Looking so gloomy and miserable. And he even has a runny nose from all that crying. There was a blanket covering over him, the blinds preventing the sunlight and fresh morning air from entering his room.

Sakura and Natsuhiko were standing in near the doorway, worry present on their faces. Their minds occupied with a question: Just what happened that day that made him so depressed like this?

And when I implied 'how long would this keep going on', it's not about Mitsuba's depressed state, but about Kou being so cold.

24 missed calls.

30 unread messages.

13 sent voicemails.

Back then, it was Kou who gave Mitsuba loads and loads of messages around; but now, he didn't see any of those Mitsuba sent.

Back then, it was Kou who gave Mitsuba a headache with all his calls in the middle of the night, but now, he never picked up any of Mitsuba's calls.

Back then, Kou was so hyperactive and excited with every single thing, Mitsuba began to grow accustomed to that trait of his. he never knew he's taken it for granted. There was this side of Kou that Mitsuba never wanted to find out, since he was always so kind, warm, understanding and forgiving.

It's just that, years have passed before they've reunited, it's plausible that he's changed.

Mitsuba buried his head in his pillows, a bitter frown curling down his lips, "It really is true that you'll know the importance of someone once they're gone." A sigh escapes him.

Still, he can't even imagine the pain he inflicted in Kou because of his mistakes, so he isn't really in that position to say that. Fair point. But you see, for Mitsuba, asking for forgiveness is hard.

It's not because he's too cocky and he's egoistic, it's because he's always having a hard time expressing himself. He doesn't always had a way with words, and his mind automatically blames him for something that he's involved with.

He's like a clam, having a strong, narcissistic and straightforward shell on the outside, yet inside, he's soft and sensitive with words he pretended not to care; a person who embraces himself to put up with the loneliness he endured over the years.

And in the end, he can't say or do anything but apologize for his mistakes, even if he knew a mere 'sorry' can't change a thing. Nor anything in that matter.

Even if he can't do anything else more than that, and he tries hard, scratch that― he's doing the best that he can to make up to it.

He tried threatening him lamely so many times, wrote so many apology letters but it all ended up in the trash and yellow papers with ink scribbled on it, scattered onto the floor. He even tried (emphasis on tried) to make a song for him even if he can't play instruments at all, nor he knew how to write songs. So it all went downhill as his cracking voice topped all of it off.