Flower Shop [ Sahyo ]

Bad idea

Warning: homophobic slurs

"Mom?" I asked, my voice small.

I realized that this was a scary idea. I rush of nervousness seemed to drown me. But there was no turning back, I'd never find it in me to tell her again after this.

"Yes, Hyo?" Mom responded, folding some clean laundry. Her voice was so nice, and she always called me that nickname.

Mom loved nicknames. She had nicknames for my sisters and me, and my Dad. I actually have 2 sisters, but my younger sister lives with dad. My parents are divorced, and my mom got pregnant with my little sister, sunmi.

Anyways.

"I-I have something to tell you...," I stammered. "Something... big..."

"Oh, lord... Are you pregnant? Please don't be pregnant- you're only 17...," Mom sighed.

I giggled nervously. "No, I'm not pregnant..."

Pregnant? Really? Was I the type to get pregnant at 17? My sister was 21 and never even had a boyfriend, but apparently I seemed to be the opposite of Marilyn- relationship-wise, anyways -in my mom's eyes.

"That's actually, like, impossible," I added.

"Mm, I don't think so, honey," Mom said with a small chuckle.

"Actually, it is...," I said softly. "Mom, I'm gay."

Her face instantly fell. She finished folding a shirt and set it in the laundry basket before turning to face me.

"Gay?"

"Yes, Mom, I'm gay," I said, more confidently.

She shook her head. "No, no you're not...," she said. "Not in this household."

A feeling of sadness and anger hit me like a wall of bricks. I clenched my fists, my knuckles instantly turning white from how harshly they were clenched.

"Mom, it's who I am-," I began.

"I didn't raise a dyke," she cut me off.

"Mom! Don't say that!" I scolded her.

Mom laughed a laugh that was laced with some evil, disappointed tone. My frown got bigger if that were even possible. I couldn't let my mom call me such a vile name, though. She wouldn't get away with that.

"Mom, I know you don't agree with my beliefs, but I'm still human. I'm your daughter, Mom!" I practically pleaded.

"No daughter of mine is going to be like that."

"Are you saying you don't even consider me your daughter anymore? Because of who I find attractive?" I said.

Tears pooled in my eyes. Rage bubbled inside of me. My stomach was in knots. My mind was racing. My knees felt week. I felt as if I might burst. Or pass out. Or both.

I was Mom's daughter. She pushed me out of her own vagina, carried me for 9 months. I was the daughter she'd loved for an entire 17 years. She named me, fed me, clothed me, loved me, and so much more for 17 years, and all of that was changing? Simply because girls are hot?

"You're going through a phase, Jihyo. You're not a faggot, it's just a trend, and you'll get better soon, I promise," Mom cooed.

"No, Mom, I won't get better, because it's not a phase!" I shouted.

And with that, I stormed up the stairs, into my room, and collapsed onto my bed.

I should've known that it was a bad idea. I knew Mom was a homophobe, so why didn't I listen to myself and just stop? Tears slipped down my cheek.

I knew exactly who I needed to talk to.

Jihyo: Sana? You there?

Sana: Yeah, what's up?

Jihyo: I came out to my Mom
Jihyo: and it didn't go well.

Incoming call from Sana...

I pressed the button to decline the call. I didn't want her to see me crying like this. It was pathetic, right?

Incoming call from Sana...

I sighed and pressed the answer button, facing the camera to the ceiling. Sana frowned.

"Angel, I'm so sorry," Sana comforted.

I stayed silent. If I said anything, she'd know I was crying.

"Angel?"

I still didn't respond. If she knew I was crying she'd want to see me.

"Jihyo? Please say something...," she said, her voice going soft at the end.

"I can't," I said in a whisper.

"Baby, it's okay... it'll be okay," Sana assured me. "Even if she doesn't accept you I will. You're always welcome to stay with my family..."

That's when I had an idea. Quite the stupid one, actually, but it'd work. I could get away from Mom, at least for a while, and go to the pride parade.

"Sana, I just had an idea...," I began.

"Hm?"

"I'm gonna run away to LA..."