Blind and Bereft

Chapter 72 | Infinite Winter

WARNING: the following content contains profanity.

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Had she ever trusted him?

Zhanying went rigid as he watched Jingrui's silhouette disappear from the compound. The sky rumbled, and the shadow from the dark clouds veiled over the Floating Abyss Palace—and over his heart.

His chest where the knife stabbed him throbbed with raw pain. He coughed as he dragged himself to the wall and plopped down against it.

He knew her well, she had always been easily fooled; too reckless, and too impulsive. She had always been too pure for the world; an easy target to manipulate. He was smart enough too, he knew well that someone had given her the knife to stab him. He even knew that she didn't mean it.

Yet, the stab in the heart she had given him had created a raw wound that would bleed forever even if the scar were to heal.

Because in the end, she had never trusted him.

As he sat by the wall, he finally understood why his mother always told him to stay away from love. Because love weighed him down. Because love weakened him. Because love hurt.

If only he had heeded his mother, if only he hadn't overestimated himself, maybe then he wouldn't have lost so much because of a woman. He had ignored all the warnings and followed his heart to love her because he thought as long as he planned everything out carefully, they both would reach a happy end.

But love was not a game of Wei Qi nor was it a war he could strategise.

He had been defeated, and defeated by the thing many had warned him to stay away from.

He was a moth drawn to a flame, and now he had been burnt.

As he sat in pain, his Third Uncle ran into the courtyard with his hand fan and a worry look plastered over his face. "Oh dear, Zhanying what's wrong?" He crouched beside Zhanying to hold him upright.

Zhanying clenched his jaw. "I should have listened to Mother." He breathed as his fists tightened. "I should have listened to you. I should have stayed away from her."

The Third Uncle furrowed his brows as he scanned Zhanying's beaten state. "How in the world is the God of War so battered? Why is your flow of Qi so weak?"

Zhanying's face was ashen, and his limbs were so numbed that he couldn't push himself to sit up straight. His breathing grew ragged as he forced himself to stay conscious. "I shouldn't have loved, should I?" His words cracked as if it had been strangled out of his throat. He lifted his lifeless eyes towards Third Uncle and let out a raspy chuckle. "But really, love was quite beautiful. Even though it was the spur of the moment I felt it."

The Third Uncle furrowed his brows. "Then don't regret it, Zhanying. . ."

"I don't regret it, I never will regret loving her. But I don't think I can forgive her. You see, because of her, he knows now. Yihuai knows now that I am not blind. And I disobeyed him because of her. Now he feels that I am a threat. So much for the long years of suppression I bore to keep a low profile."

Third Uncle's face fell. "But even if he knows, your flow of Qi shouldn't have been this terribly weakened."

Zhanying lay back against the wall, and a laugh scraped out his throat. "I disobeyed Yihuai because of her, and he ordered the thirteen lightning strikes on me. Physical pain doesn't hurt me, but..." He trailed off as he stared at the glimmering knife on the floor that was stained with his blood. A strange lump formed in his throat, and he placed a hand over his face as he tilted his head backward. "That knife, it's poisonous. It was poisoned with an incurable, heated jincan . . . she really wants me dead, Third Uncle. She really wants me dead." His voice cracked, but before he willed himself to give in to his emotions, Yuansong's voice rang throughout the inner courtyard.

"Goddess, please don't come in. His Highness doesn't want to see anyone right now!"

"Shut up!" Yuetong screamed as she stormed towards Zhanying. With one glance at his crude figure, her face was drained white.

"Third Uncle, see the Goddess out," Zhanying said without lifting his gaze.

The Third Uncle nodded, but as he was about to stand up, Yuetong dashed towards Zhanying, shoving the Third Uncle aside. "Can you see now that she doesn't love you? Will you still insist on her after this?"

Zhanying's face darkened, and his hair fell on his face, casting an intimidating shadow over him. "Get out."

The Goddess of Beauty crossed her arms. "No! You are dying, Your Highness, and you are dying because of her. Would you still let her off like this, when she will be the cause of your death?"

Dark fury came over him. "I don't care if I die. As long as I can kill Yihuai, no one else matters. You better fuck off, or I will make you another corpse to decorate Heaven."

Crocodile tears filled Yuetong's eyes, and she stomped her feet. "You've grown up with me, and yet you would say these cruel words? Do you really hold no feelings for me?"

Zhanying closed his eyes. The pain and rage within him was already overbearing and to add annoyance to it made him lose it. "I have no intention to love. Someone like me was not made to love right from the beginning." His words turned cold and rigid. "You better get out, before I make you regret."