Blind and Bereft

Chapter 86 | A Full Moon

The poisonous rage took over Jingrui once more, drowning her with the images of those she loved. She looked up to see Prince Zhanying had fallen to his feet, and a large amount of silver light swam against his neck to stop his wound. His sword waved immense amounts of power, the tip sliding against the marble floor, marking indents.

With all his cultivation concentrated on his wound and his fight, the barrier before her was weakened. She banged her fists hard, inserting her force, and it shattered open in a flit.

All the anger turned her eyes red, and she lunged down onto Lingyue. Her hands strangled Lingyue's neck. "Why are you not dead?" Her words were bleak as she choked the Empress Dowager's scrawny neck. "Why are you not dead?" she yelled.

Lingyue scoffed, and a smile ripped up towards her ears. "If that bastard is still alive, how can I die?" A chilling laugh pierced into the night. "I've already taken the antidote far before we commenced the full moon banquet." With that, her hands ignited with a ball of inner energy. She shot it towards Jingrui's stomach.

Jingrui grunted and blood gushed up her lips. Fiery pain lanced through her, and tears surged into her eyes. But with all the hatred that enshrouded her heart, she forced herself to stay put. Her hands clenched tighter around Lingyue's neck, determined not to let go.

The woman before her was the one that killed everyone she loved, and even if she had a thousand lives, it wouldn't be enough.

She was the reason Jingrui was burning in Hell. Since Jingrui was deemed to fall into the deepest pit of darkness, she let all the hatred within her free to take her for their own.

Her strength convulsed through her, and her hold on the Empress Dowager's neck tightened. Her voice trembled as she burst out, "You killed my sister. You killed my master. You killed Yuansong and you killed Consort Chen. You made Zhanying suffer all these years, and you robbed me of every happiness I ever had!"  Her forehead was damped with sweat, and hot tears slid down her chin.

Blinded within a cascade of hate and devoured away by the darkness within her soul, nothing mattered but to kill. Jingrui's pupils grew small, and a smile came over as she dug her nails into the Empress Dowager's skin. "I will kill you. I will kill you for all that you have done!" Her words tumbled out, and she summoned a blade in one hand. "I will press this knife against your hideous face, letting the blood ooze drop by drop. I'll slice your limbs, your stomach, your chest, your neck. I'll let you experience what real pain feels like."

Fire burnt every inch in her as she pressed the blade against Lingyue's face that had gone pale with fear.

Jingrui's smile widened. "What is it? Afraid? Are you finally regretting having hurt my sister?" She raised her knife high. Tears from rage and hatred created a wave that washed over her heart. "Do you know how much my sister means to me? She raised me since I was a child. All that she ever wanted was to live happily with my senior. And all that I ever wanted is to look at her once more. She left me for fifty years, but she came back to me as a dead corpse!"

No sense of sanity was left within her, and with all her force, she stabbed her blade into Lingyue's shoulder. Blood sprayed into her face. Lingyue's blaring screams shot into the air.

"What sin did I ever commit? Why is that I cannot have a place I belong? Why is it that everyone I love must wither within my palm? Why?" Jingrui yelled at the top of her lungs, and she stabbed Lingyue again in the arm. Red tainting her white hanfu. "All that I ever wanted is to live with my sister, senior and master forever. Why is it so hard to ask Heaven for that? All that I ever wanted is to be worth more than a bag of rice."

Tears burnt her vision. Her knife was raised, and she aimed it at Lingyue's heart. Her hands trembled from the violent fury. "I will kill you, and I will make sure you go to hell. Only then will those I loved be repent. Only then will they rest in peace. Only then will they—" Jingrui paused when her gaze came to meet Lingyue.

Pale, and dying.

Her heart throbbed, and suddenly her throat felt close up. Flashes of her sister and master's pale and dying bodies resurfaced in her mind.

One should learn to forgive, but we should never forget, do you understand Jingrui?

Her breath hitched in her throat. Her hands trembled against the hilt of her blade. How could she forgive? If she forgave them, then they would never learn of her pain. They would never repent. They would continue to float their faces with pride. Only if she killed them, would they finally understand.

But even if she killed them, time wouldn't reverse, and the dead wouldn't come back to life.

Live happily. The survival field, you've long had enough. Live well and peacefully, Jingrui, for your sister.

Her sister would never want to see her upon the pile of corpses. Her sister would never want to see her tainted with blood from head to toes and straying into the deepest pit of the abyss.

No matter the ending, I never want you to change. I want you to remain my Bao Bao forever.

Her breath hitched in her throat. She glanced at Lingyue, lying on the ground, vulnerable. Her hands shook, and she brought it in front of her face. Her hands had been tainted red, her white hanfu was dyed with blood, and she was submerging in the pool of crimson.

Slowly, she glanced up, and her gaze met Prince Zhanying's. He stood in the distance, watching her with a deluge of pain in his eyes. A wave seemed to sweep over her at that moment, washing away the hatred that blinded her. A sob choked up her throat, and the knife in her hand dropped to the floor with a loud clunk. 

Jingrui stood up, swaying left and right and clutched her hand over her face. Weeping, she looked up at the sky. Darkness crept over the horizon, and she clenched her fists. For the first time since she stood within the darkness, she realised that the moon didn't need to be full. As long as her heart was bright, there would be no more waning. No more darkness. No more hate and no more grief.

Forgive but never forget.

As she stood in the throne hall, overcasted by shadow, she finally understood it. Only if she forgave would she be able to catch a sight of the clear night. Even if she would never forget, at least her heart didn't need to be burdened with hate. At least the moon could still shine within her.

She glanced at Lingyue who lay battered against the ground, breathing heavily. Although Jingrui would never forget her for all that she had done, she finally let go. The fresh flowers within the coldest snow had returned its bloom. Colours flourished ten thousand li, and she smiled.

At long last, she was pulled out of hell. At long last, she had forgiven.