I̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶ ❝ butterflies and roses ❞

16. you are not what people say

❝
I am that friend of yours
Who would ask you to not care about others
But sobs when she can't get the validation
She thinks she deserves.

Don't get me wrong, if you're a stranger walking down the lane and I drop my tea all over you,
I would apologize and forget about it.
I really don't bother about what people say,
Because people for me are strangers,
They don't even know my name.

But it gets hard when you want to buy the tea for me,
You're the one apologising
And then tell me your name
And why you're here
And we chat over a cup of coffee about our deepest fears.

You see, you're not a stranger anymore,
Not to me at least,
You treated me with the dignity and respect
That I had never received.
Half a loaf is better than no bread because for a homeless man this half a loaf tastes like heaven.

I have had issues with people
Who walked out of my life
I am not even use and throw tissue,
I am the plastic that doesn't rot.

So these past experiences shape how you see,
That the last person in your life wasn't pleased
With you, so you change yourself,
And try to fit into the mold of the new person sitting right there.

It becomes harder when you're the shadow of your scars,
Because you become the exact opposite of who you are,
If everyone saw bad in you,
You tend to see good in them.

Which isn't bad, per se,
But how would you justify his portray,
He always cuts you when you speak, he makes you stay up at night, he calls your work a piece of trash and he calls your choices abominable.

It'll hurt when he says he tells you everything but you get to know half of them from his friends,
It'll hurt when you reply the moment he texts, but won't even bother to hide he's online and leave you on read.
It'll hurt when he calls your problem superficial and makes you feel guilty about having them.
It'll hurt when you realise that you're just another number on his caller list.

So you're this new person, who you think he wanted you to be,
But you forgot that this wasn't the person he first saw,
So, of course, he won't like you anymore, it was obvious for all,
Then you're left with a persona that isn't even yours.

This is not who you are.
This is not what you ask your friends to be.
This is the reason why you ask others not to care,
but what can I say, you're a hypocrite.

This is how not to feel bad about who you are:

You are not enough?
Of course, you're not.
The ocean is there for all of us,
still, we need rain to quench our thirst.

You're still numb to the pain?
Or that's the only you feel?
We don't need fire to beat the fire
we need ice for the burns to heal.

Not dancing to your favourite song won't reduce your lifespan
Not asking the guy you liked won't bring glory to your clan
Take the baby steps that you forgot existed
Even nature knows, there's no death, there's regrowth.

You are not your birth name
You are not your birth gender
You are not a sect reduced to human rights and certain lives matter movement
You are not what people say.
❞

✩｡:*•.───── ❁ ❁ ─────.•*:｡✩

Note: "certain lives matter" is by no means demeaning black lives matter movement. This line has been used to support it. Black people are not just a movement, they are people. The best way to support BLM is to acknowledge that. Viewing them with the lense of equality rather than "I need to help them otherwise I will be cancelled due to a movement". We don't want them to be reduced to a movement, but grow as a huge part of our community.

Amen.