24. i am not good enough

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in this world full of flavours, i am vanilla
i cost less and taste cheap,
even though i am the underpinning of the ambrosia you taste in other flavours
i am also the most undermined, overpowered by their colours.

in this world full of integrals, i am a constant
overlooked, i am the alphabet you love to hate
you remember to add me only when you're losing grade
even when i am the permanence to your indefinite, you always forget.

in this world full of genders, i am they
pink for girl, blue for boy and if they don't fit, they're probably gay.
oversaturated happiness fills my visage when someone asks my pronoun,
but the lilacs only bloom in spring,
by the time it's autumn, periwinkles rustle, they are thrown out.

in this world full of books, i be the one least admired,
i remind the old shopkeeper of his beloved wife, so he keeps me
far below, in a rack breaking my spine
with the weight of expectation and over-achieveing kind,
my pages turn yellow as other's career shine bright
my words bite the dust, chokes as there is no one to listen my voice.

in this world full of poets, i am sylvia plath
half-chewed poems, rest were burnt to char.
when i read my love letter to him, his sneer would draw a scar
the audience only commemorates my death,
those vicious poems, my dismal husband would sell.

this world dwells on miracles
that are trapped between the sea and horizon,
the shimmering sea and vivacious land,
and i fill my feet with the sand
that's more valuable than i could ever be.

with honey and lilies sealing my lips
i let the golden poison seep within
people think sweetness in compassion
i'd like to defile their notion.

hoping this is when they finally notice the flowers i bloom, between the cracks of my voice and gaps between my words.

till then, i'll never be enough.

                  
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Was feeling kinda sad today. Depressed epshita is back to make your November depressing uwu how cute. Don't forget to comment, it really makes my day!

 Don't forget to comment, it really makes my day!

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