SAYA

CHAPTER 7

 "I can see you're awake," he says from behind me.

I clear my throat "Yes, I am."

He kisses my shoulder and my cheek. This man will be the death of me. "You rejected me again today."

"I apologize My Lord. I had to change the flowers in your room, and I didn't want Oma to think-"

"You care about what she thinks?" he asks cutting me off.

"No, I mean yes...sometimes. She wants you so I just didn't-"

"And you don't?" he asks, cutting me off again.

"I don't what?"

"Want me." How can he ask me such a question? I honestly don't know how to respond. I turn and look at him, his eyes now meeting mine. I look anywhere but at his face and am still thinking about how to reply when he asks,

"What is that tray on your table?"

Oh no! The medicine. I can't let him find out about my injury.

"I was...it's the medicine that I used for...training. I like to learn about medicine so I borrowed some and asked one of the physicians about the uses of the ones I didn't know." I don't know how convincing that was but when he doesn't respond, I look back at him. It seems he's searching my eyes to see if I am lying. I need to learn how to lie better.

"They said you don't want any children" I say, in an attempt to get his mind off of the medicine. "Is that true?" I look up at him and meet his gaze.

"Is that what Oma told you?" How in the world did he know?

"I didn't mention anyone's name," I say in self-defense averting his gaze.

"But she's the one who told you...right?"

"She said you didn't want children and marriage so that you can have as many women as you want."

He continues to stare at me and I can't tell if that's a good or bad thing. "Do you want children?" he asks me.

"...Someday, yes. I've always loved children so I would want at least one of my own," I say and look at him.

"...I can't promise you a child with me. It's...complicated"

My heart sinks but I quickly push it away.

"It's okay My Lord. I have always had ill luck anyway."

"Don't say that."

"I shouldn't say the truth?" I ask, giving a sarcastic laugh.

"I was born as the last daughter of my father, the ugliest might I add. I could never court as my sisters did. When I was old enough for courtship, I was always left to stand by my mother when other men took my sisters for a walk or just a night of fun. Two years later, I voluntarily give myself to a man I have never seen before, just heard about by the stories I've been told. Not wanting the uniqueness of our brown skin dissolved in your Kingdom, I do exactly as instructed by my father. I feel like there might finally be a chance for me to get a lover, since I hear you have a lot of women, I believe you might not care if I have one. But alas, I come here and that is considered treason. So, I'm here with no lover, no chance at love, or even a child. Still think I shouldn't call it ill luck?" I ask looking at him.

He doesn't reply but moves his hand and wipes my cheek still staring at me. That's when I realize that I had shed a tear. I give a weak laugh and wipe my face.

"...How old are you?" he asks after a few minutes,

"18," I reply.

"So you're a little girl."