Wildest Dreams | A James and Lily Love Story ✅

Chapter Eighteen - No Love Lost

A/N - This chapter is going to be little bit dark, so you have been warned. It is essential for character development and the plot of the story though! Also, a trigger warning; if you would get triggered by mention of sexual abuse maybe don't read this! If anyone ever needs to just talk to someone, I'm always here - just shoot me a message! xoxo

Lily:

His cold eyes bear into mine, filled with something utterly unrecognizable. An ear-splitting scream pierces the cold silence like a sharp blade, and I barely even know that it's mine, and it's coming out of my own raw throat. Snape clamps his bony hand over my mouth, his spidery fingers stifling my scream. I'm completely frozen with fear. I can still hear my heart race, it's level rising and rising, until I'm almost certain that it is going to come right out of my chest. I'm still pinned up against the wall, and I take the momentary opportunity that comes with his releasing half of his hold on me to begin to fight back.

For some stupid reason, I don't have my wand on me. I'm completely defenceless, and so confused. What is happening right now? I start to kick out, just trying to wriggle out of his fierce clasp. I keep trying to think of self-defence tactics, but my memory fails me entirely. I've never taken classes, but a couple of years ago my dad got really into Karate. Curse my complete lack of interest when he offered to teach me a few things. I had thought that magic would always get me out of scenarios better. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

I try to clear my mind as much as possible in a second, and I recognise my only two options; fight - which is what I have been attempting to do, or freeze - which gets you absolutely nowhere in this situation. To try and minimise my thrashing about, Snape releases his hold on my mouth and grabs my wrist again, pinning me even harder against the wall. I scream again, the sound echoing loudly, and I wonder how nobody hears me. It hurts my throat so badly, but I need to escape. I really need to.

I furiously kick at his shins, and I see him visibly wince, which provides me with some sort of satisfaction. Obviously, I try to note down the main things that I know about him; he's tall, but very lanky and thin, and male. Ah, there's my hit point! I just have to try and knee him between the legs, in an area that will cause him so much pain that I'll be able to get away. As I struggle, I can feel his hold tightening even further on my wrist, and I'm certain that there will be bruising there later from the force he is using. I am in pain right now - he is causing me physical pain. I have to keep breathing steadily, though I am panting slightly from the effort that I am using to try and escape. But his bony grip isn't disappearing at all. And fuck, it hurts!

Out of the blue, Snape completely relaxes his hold on me, and lets go of me, though still preventing my escape. I stumble a bit, shocked at this sudden change, and wring my wrists a bit in an attempt to get rid of the dull ache that has settled there from his fierce hold on me. I take a deep breath, and it comes out raspy and panting. "Lily, Lily! Calm down! I just want to talk!" he says, in what he must think is a calming voice. I glare at him fiercely, and say, "Then why on Earth did you scare the living crap out of me, and pin me against the wall!". The anger I'm feeling seeps through my voice thickly, and Snape has the audacity to barely even look ashamed. "Fine! I'm sorry! Now, will you talk to me?" he says, bold as brass, like this is just an ordinary conversation. Ugh, I really don't want to talk to him, but it doesn't seem like I have much of a choice. I know that he has his wand in his pocket - he never is without it - so there's no point in trying to start a battle that I know I can't win. He's just let go of me completely, but his lanky body is still in the way, making sure that I'm stuck here, in this conversation.

"Fine!" I say, furious. He takes the smallest of steps away from me, still within a metre of my small frame however. He stands there awkwardly, trying not to look at me, for about a minute before I let out a small, impatient cough. He looks up from the ground, and I raise my eyebrows, prompting him to speak. "Oh! I...ummm..." he begins, and I roll my eyes at his stuttering. "What did you tackle me for? Is this your idea of a conversation?" I say, now exasperated. "I...I..." Snape says, stuttering once again. I think I know what he is trying to do - either apologize meaninglessly for what he said in fifth year or try to get us to become friends again. I won't accept his apology and I am done being his friend.