Chapter 43

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Dear diary,

My name is Kim Taehyung and I am a sophomore, 16 years old. This is my first entry, nice to meet you.

My mother gave you to me when I was younger, in case I would have anything important to write down. And I believe that now is one of these cases.

I find myself being attracted to someone. Someone I should definetely not be attracted to. Someone that is my straight best friend. I'm gay, by the way, but that one I've known for a very long time. It was quite obvious.
And, this is the first attraction I had to anybody. Anybody who is not some hot celebrity.

My best friend is Jeon Jungkook. He's an amazing best friend, fun to be with and a really good listener, not to mention the fact that he's super considerate and polite. Not like all these other boys acting all tough and strong and ending up being the biggest assholes. Jungkook is different.

He's the greatest friend anyone could wish for, for sure.

So now you may ask, why these strange feelings?
Truly, I don't know myself! That's why I'm telling you. But let me give you some more context first:

Jungkook had a girlfriend. In fact, he had many girlfriends and all of them were really sweet, actually. But I guess they never clicked, if you know what I mean. It's not the girls' fault or Jungkook's fault, just the way of the universe, I guess.
But a few months ago, he had a really special girlfriend.

Her name was Lee Bora and he was head over heels for her, absolutely in love with her. I saw how different he was with her, he truly loved her with all he had. I supported them so much!
But guess what? It was too good to last.

She cheated on him and she never loved him in the first place! What a bitch! Jungkook is so heartbroken about it, it makes me so sad.
When he told me about it, he was crying so hard. Poor boy.

So, when I comforted him, I suddenly got a thought. A very weird thought. 
I started thinking he should find someone who loves him just like he is and someone who would never let him go just like that. And guess what? I thought of myself!

But like... whyyy?!

I mean... of course, Jungkook is extremely attractive, he is handsome and he has an awesome personality and he has a sense of sensitivity, which is exactly what I'm looking for in a guy.
But that guy should not be him! 

The problem is, dear diary, I can't get this... fantasy out of my head! Me and Jungkook, together in that way. I know it's soo wrong but I have no idea how to fix this! I keep thinking about it, all. Fucking. Day. It frustrates me. 

You will have to hear me rant about extremely many things so I apologize in advance, friend.

Before my brain explodes because of overwhelming feelings, I'm gonna stop here. You will probably hear from me soon enough, this is kind of fun and relaxing and I feel like it could really help me figure out things.

Then, dear diary, it was an honor talking to you! My first entry, kind of exciting. I'll tell you more in the future. This was a brilliant idea!

Goodbye!

-Taehyungie♡

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A brilliant idea. My ass.

That's all Taehyung could think of as he stood in front of his house, his whole body trembling because of all the things that just happened.

He got humiliated.

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