Deckerstar fluff

Detective Douchifer part 2

Sorry, I forgot to publish this chapter🙄. Jeez, I can be so stupid sometimes!😂 Enjoy some douchiferness!
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They arrive at an average suburban family house and knock on the front door. Not long after the door swings open to reveal a man about 5'11, blonde hair green eyes.

"Can I help you?" He asks them

"Are you Peter Collins?" Dan asks

" Depends who's asking" he tells them, folding his arms across his chest.

"I'm Dan Espinoza and this is Lucifer Morningstar, we're LAPD and we'd like to ask you a few questions about your ex, Jane Parker." He says

" sure thing come on in. " he tells them, then leads them through a house full of toys and kids stuff to the living room where they sat down.

"So whats going on, I doubt I'll be much help though, I haven't seen or heard from Jane in years. I try to avoid ever since she started selling drugs" He explains to them.

" Mr.Collins I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your ex, Jane Parker, is dead" Dan tells him

"she's what" he asks, clearly upset

"Why is it that everyone goes death either when you tell them tragic news or accuse them of murder, yes Jane is dead, murdered by you" Lucifer says annoyed.

"Wait, what!" Peter says

" See! " Lucifer says angrily

"Wait, you think I killed her!?" He asks

" no we think your her mother, yes we think you killed her" Lucifer says as sarcastically and dramatically as you would expect.

"I didn't kill her" he says

"Yes you di-" Lucifer begins

"Lucifer just stop!" Dan says angrily, " do you have kids?" Dan ask, only now realizing the toys scattered around the room and the cartoon playing on the TV.

"Uh, yeah two kids a boy and a girl. Their names are Mavis and Mike, twins." He says, " yeah, I got married not long ago"

"You have a wife?" Dan asks

" Ugh, your getting deaf too now Dan well thats just great, yes he literally just explained he got married so unless he is gay he has a wife. " Lucifer says

Dan rolls his eyes at Lucifer and focuses back on Mr.Collins, "wait, did you say earlier that you hadn't heard from Jane in years?" He asks

"Yeah, why" he says

"Well thats not true, I know that there have been phone calls often to your house from Jane, most recent last week." He says

"Ooh liar liar, daddy pants on fire Petey" Lucifer says

" I don't know anything about that! " he says, " I'm at work 9 - 5:00 maybe she called between those times.

"Who is home during those times when you work" Dan asks

"Well the kids but their three years old, their usually home with their mum or the babysitter, Miley James." He explains

" okay thanks Mr.Collins" Dan says and gets up to leave

"Uh uh uh, wait, I have a question to ask before we go" Lucifer says

"I think you've said enough Lucifer' Dan says angrily

" Just, bare with me for a moment. Tell me Petey, what desires drive a man such as yourself? You close your eyes what do you see? " he asks

"I winning a grammy for acting in a rom-com" he admits