Trust the Killer

Chapter Eighteen

     I leaned my head into the metal bar of the shelf. My eyes glared at the metal wall opposite me, that matched the other walls of my confinement. My bones ached as they sat on the metal bench for what felt like hours and I winced every time the red head stirred in his sleep as I feared he would wake up from his nap that had taken up the duration of the ride in the back of the van. I was most thankful of this as I grew stir crazy and resentful of the metal surroundings.
     Metal handcuffs broke my skin, I bled iron. Another fucking metal.
     Even the people around me were cold and hard like the substance. My thoughts were becoming strange, repetitive and most of all stupid. I'm thinking about metal, counting it out like it matters in any slight way. I shivered in the freezing air.
     I knew that I was was searching for a focus, something to think about that was less stressful than what was truly happening around me. I found it hard to come to terms with my situation and I used that as an explanation for the comfort I found in Wyck. I was just searching for safety and I fooled myself into believing he was just that, but I was entirely wrong and I needed more than anything to understand that I am alone right now. As terrifying as that thought was, I needed to come to terms with being by myself and live in reality again. That's the only way I'd survive this. These people are strangers and they're killers. Wyck is a stranger... and he is a killer. I can not trust a killer.
      As my thoughts floated back into the big picture, another shot of fear tore up my insides, but I pushed it down. I needed to be calm, to be brave and think. I'm going to get out of this, I'll find a way.
     "Why are you back here?" Julia's agitated voice repeated her earlier question while sending another wave of panic through me.
     My head leaned off the metal bar and I sat up straight, my mouth opened but no words came out.
     "Why did Wyck put you back here? He looked pissed at the gas station." She asked for the third time.
     I breathed in and thought, I wasn't sure how to explain myself. "He... it's because, I don't want to be up there with him." I was honest.
      Her eyes squinted, "So you'd rather sit back here chained up beside Mason, the guy who's made constant jokes about raping you?" Her bluntness made me uncomfortable. "You'd rather sit here in the freezer, than with Wyck, the guy who's done nothing to hurt you?" She spoke in a clear defense of the tall boy.
     She was both right and wrong. No I didn't want to be beside Mason, but I wasn't sure that riding with Wyck was better and it if was, not by much.
     Then a frustration bubbled inside of me that quickly churned anger... I hated Julia for the dry questions she was asking and words began to slip harshly from my mouth before I could think, "Nothing to hurt me? I'm kidnapped! What the fuck are you talking about? I don't want to be here, with Mason," His name felt strange to speak, "With Wyck, with anyone! I want to be at home! Or dead even! Anywhere but near any of you!" Tears fell from my eyes as I screamed in anger at the black haired girl who sat with a blank expression. She's a psychopath if I've ever seen one.
     I breathed heavily and regretted my words for many reasons, but mainly that they had woken up Mason.
     "What the...?" He spoke confused while rubbing his eyes. "What are you fucking screaming for?" He glared at me with a confused and angry expression, his hand reached up and gripped the side of my face, he pulled my head back and shoved it harshly into the shelving I was handcuffed too.
     Pain spread across my cheek while the bone felt hot and numb from the unexpected collision. I quickly lifted my free hand to comfort the damage but my fingers twitched as my face felt fragile and began to burn. I was shocked by the pain and the action, both.
     Even through the fear and the threats, I hadn't been bluntly hit in the way Mason just had done.
     "God damn, send her back to the front." He was patronizing, completely unsympathetic to the way he had hurt me. I'm not sure why I was shocked by this behavior, I thought of the way Wyck apologized when I was scared, though he was playing with my mind.
      I curled up against the shelving leaning as far from Mason as I possibly could.
     "She's yelling because she wants to be dead." Julia was sarcastic as well at my outburst.
      "Heh. Same." The redhead joked back to her in a quiet voice, still waking himself up.
      "I don't think she knows how easily I could grant that wish, especially without her knight in shining armor around." There was little humor in Julia's voice, she spoke purely with irritation through her teeth.
     I knew she was referring to Wyck in her threat, I didn't feel scared this time. Only defeated.
"Knight? Ha! You know the only reason he kept her was so he could fuck her... but then he crucifies me for doing the same thing, sorry I'm not scared to say it out loud." Mason ranted while laughing.
"That's not what he said to me." Julia sunk in a low voice, she seemed disappointed.
      Mason was still laughing, "What'd he say, then?" He slid his arm back around me, it fell from my shoulder in his sleep earlier. I squeezed my eyes shut at the feeling of his skin on mine, tears still slipped from my eyes underneath my palms pressed gently into my face.
     Julia stared at me for a moment and shook her head, "He's being such an ass."
     "The fuck did I do?" Mason yelled back at her defensively.
      "I'm talking about Wyck."
      "Oh, then yeah true... as always." He dropped his head back against the side of the van, his arm fell from me again as he closed his eyes hoping to fall back asleep.
I was only half listening to their short conversation. I could feel Julia's eyes on me, I kept my face covered as my cheek still throbbed and I felt a headache begin to pulse on the side of my head.
A few minutes later I heard Masons heavy, slow breathing indicating he was asleep. Across the van I believe Julia noticed the same thing.
"We were supposed to leave you on that road." She spoke bluntly. I tried to ignore her, the fear of her voice made my headache worsen. "I didn't get why Wyck wanted to bring you, we've had witnesses before and we always left them. So we thought the plan was to kill you. He texted me something stupid like he's going to leave you somewhere else but that was to much of a risk, he never picked a place anyway. I ignored it at the time, I was just excited to have someone other than Mason to talk to but I didn't understand what Wyck was wanting to do... especially after you stole your phone back. We could have been fucked from that but he coddled you. It made me so angry.... until later that day. While you were asleep and before he left to dispose of the car and the bodies, he talked to me."
My hands fell from my face, I listened to her explanation, intrigued and also shocked by her seriousness. Though my stomach turned at the mention of the corpses they murdered.
"Look I'm not going to get into it, Wycks not a villain... he's had a long life and-" her eyes squinted and she shook her head in clear annoyance. "You don't know anything about him. I get it, you're scared but he's the only reason you're still alive anyway. He wouldn't do anything to hurt you. I can't say the same about myself or Mason especially... so I don't understand why you think being here with us makes you better off. I told you before, Wyck cares about you, I've never seen him act like this before, I was excited because he deserves to be loved by someone."
The mystery swirled in my head as I considered how little I did know about the boy. He told me he's from Nevada, that he's been on the road for two years and that he's a hitman. Well, Mason told me that last part. That summed up it for me, but Julia pointed that there was something deeper to his character. I felt a sort of empathy for Wyck as she mentioned he deserved to be loved. I believe that everyone does. But from me? How could I love someone who hurt people?
"He's a murderer." I spoke softly, scared of her reaction. "I can't..." I wasn't sure how to explain, "That's the worst thing he could be!" I kept my voice as quiet as possible.
"Well, I don't agree with that."
Julia's words frustrated me. I've never in my entire existence thought I would be in the cross roads of excepting a flaw as large as murder. "Wyck deserves to be loved by someone like him." I tried to be kind in my rejection. "I'm not like him. I don't want a life like this, knowing he hurts people... he should be with someone like you." I was calm, rubbing the side of my head where it hurt.
"No, he should be with someone like you." Julia rolled her eyes. "Trust me Wyck and I we're together for a while. It didn't work, he needs someone who's... good like you. That's what he wants at least."
"You... dated?" I asked.
"Oh..." she laughed, "I don't think Wycks every had a girlfriend, it's hard to keep someone around when he is who he is. I've had the same problem. That's why we tried but we were never really together."
I'm sure the dating pool dries up when your occupation is so gruesome. It made sense that Wyck would go after Julia, she was gorgeous and they did seem to care about each other a lot... she was extremely gorgeous the more I thought about it, why wouldn't he want to be with her? Did she break things off or did he? Was he still attracted to her, how could he not be? My head began to throb, I lost focus. I wanted to slam my own head into the shelf, was I jealous? I can't be jealous, I don't want to be with Wyck so his past with the girl across from me shouldn't matter, even if she's about a thousand times more beautiful than I am. "Oh." Was all that slipped from my mouth. I thought hard about what she said, they were never really together? They must have been together in a different sort of way...
"But that was a year ago at least," Julia noticed my awkwardness. "He wants someone like you, I think he needs someone to help him see that he's a good person inside, under all the blood." She raised her brows as she spoke the last word. "Like I said, he's not the villain you think he is."
I didn't respond to her this time, I only thought. Do I have to be that person for Wyck, did I want to be? I felt a slight curiosity burn, I wanted to know more about him, what had to happen to someone to put them on this path? Unless he's a sociopath then not much.
I had to snap myself from these thoughts, this isn't the life I want. I need someone simple, someone who has a legal career that I can fall in love with, I need to get out of this mess and go home, go to school and continue with my life before him. I'll probably also need therapy, but for now all I would worry about is escaping my captors.