Abuse Leaves A Strong Mark On The Soul

Chapter 11: Preparations

(A/n this need a trigger warning cause of panic attack/flashbacks to abuse)

Varian pov
It's been about a month since i turned 16. School is going to start in another two weeks. I'm excited and scared at the same time it's kinda like when you vomit and burp at the same time. I'm drawn from my thoughts by the semi-casually dressed priest who calls to me, trying to get me to walk towards him and the couple with the pillow and rings.
"Sorry i got distracted i promise i won't in the real thing." We were currently at the practice wedding to make sure that nothing goes wrong at the real one. Raps gave me an apologetic smile and said "Its okay varian. We still have a week to practice okay." carefully rubbing my arms and i say "I know i'm just excited about school, so it's kinda keeping my attention from reality."
Eugene kinda chuckles and says "Well you're one of the few kids i know who is excited to go to school so i'll give you a pass there kid"
I chuckle at the sentence and we reset for another try at the rehearsal. Eventually we get it without a fail and move onto the practice dinner. That goes over smoothly and Raps, Eugene, and I eventually head home all of us are exhausted. I plop down onto the couch and groan into it tiredly as my polo kinda chokes me.
"Okay Varian why don't you go get changed and then we'll all watch a movie together"
"Okay I'll probably take a shower as well I stink"
"Alright we'll wait for you then"
I push myself off the floor and head up to my room to shower and get changed. Gesturing at my bed Rudiger follows my silent command and hops onto my bed laying down. I set out a pair of black sweats and a red hoodie before heading into the bathroom closing the door most of the way behind. My reflection draws my attention and looking at myself I slide my shirt off looking at my form I've had a little gain in weight. A quick flashback of back when I was 12 crossed my eyes. I was standing in the bathroom with bruises littering my body a swelling black eye forming. I stumble back away from the mirror shocked leaning against the wall as another flash crossed my vision of me getting beat by my dad as he mumbled the words 'your dead you died your dead'
A choked sob made it's way from my throat as the world clouded in and surrounded me in darkness. Sobs wracked my body until I felt a gentle and wet nose nudge against my arm gently. My eyes lock onto Rudigers face as he nuzzled his face into my hand and I opened my arms for a hug and he stood over my legs letting me hug him and sob into his fur for a few minutes until I calmed down.
"Thanks bud, I'm gonna shower now okay?"
He gives my face a gentle lick. Before sitting in the door way. Shakily standing up I finish getting undressed avoiding looking at the mirror before getting into the shower and staying in there for what must've been an hour or so cause I could hear Eugene's voice say "Hey kid me and raps we're getting worried about you, are you almost done?"
"Yeah just wanted to soak a bit!"
"Okay see ya downstairs then"
I turn the water off sliding the door to the side grabbing the towel off the wrack drying myself off before walking into my room and getting dressed and walking down the stairs where raps and eugene were deep in a discussion.
"Eugene what if his dad tries something at the reception, what if-"
"raps there's no way he could try and do anything okay"
"yeah but what if he dose, lik-"
"Sunshine, our wedding is two days away we have everything planned out and ready, it'll be okay."
"Okay. I hope your right"
I finish walking down the stairs rudigur close behind me and I say "Hey"
"Hey Varian" They make a spot for me on the couch between them and I sit there rudigur climbing up into our laps we all let out a chuckle before turning the movie on. For once in almost my entire life I feel completely safe and happy.
(Be ready fools the angst is coming