Tears

After walk

         The music is booming out of the speaker. I look at the phone to see what song is playing, not touching it. I sing along to the words while I look at the playlist playing. 

Bang!  

A squeal escapes my lips.
I'm startled and jump back. The speaker fell from the ledge and onto the table. I check to see nothing is broken, and I plug it back into its charger. 

"What was that?" my dad yells from the kitchen.

"The Speaker!" I call.

"What was that?" He asks again. 

"The Speaker!" I say as I walk to the kitchen.

"What was that?" he asks when I enter the kitchen, "After the 3rd time." Oh my God.

"The speaker," I tell him again.

"Oh" is all he says. 

I walk out of the kitchen and enter my room, where Simon is sitting under the loft bed. I sit down on the floor, beside the loft, so not quite under it, and write previous events that happened today on a piece of paper- this is what you are.

"What happened to my phone!?" My father yells as he enters our room. "There's a crack, where it wasn't before," he says.

"I'm sorry," I say, standing up, feeling genuinely bad for his phone.

"How did this happen?" He says. My heart is pounding from the look on his face. I'm not afraid, I just can't handle this Shit!

"The speaker fell," I say, "I didn't touch the phone."

"Did the speaker fall on the phone?"

"I don't know," I answer honestly, " the speaker fell on the table,"

"Don't lie, just tell me!"

"I don't know what happened. I got startled. Maybe it bounced off of it. I don't know," I tell him. He huffs out of the room. 

My heart pounding, I move slowly, walking to lean against the dresser in my room. I start to cry as I cradle my knees to my head.         

Not from this...but from all he has done to me over the years. To my mother, to my brother. Insults after Insults. Lies topple over each other as he speaks. I cry to let it out. My stomach hurts because of his presence and his roaring voice in the background.
Simon puts an arm around me as I cry. The room feels dark.

My father enters again. 

I wipe my eyes quickly. He looks over the room with his eyes. He looks at me and then at Simon. He huffs out and starts to speak...

"You don't have to act this way! Act like a big girl! Don't lie. Tell me if the speaker fell on the phone and what you did?!" He yells.

"I don't know," I answer honestly again.

He leaves the room.

"Fuck," I hear him say in the background.

My knees tuck in with Simons's arms around me, I cry some more.
"It's okay," he comforts me. I allow my tears to travel down my cheeks once more.

"Can you close the door?" I ask. Simon stands up.
"We can't make it obvious that we're closing the door." He opens the closet door, that is right behind the door. He closes the main door a little and kicks it with his toe lightly while making funny faces. 

I crawl to the inside of the closet, letting the door cover me.

I cry now, letting all of it out. It's good to cry. 

Simon puts blankets on me and I smile.
"It's okay." he wipes some tears away as I smile at him. No, it's not okay, I think.
The tears come back, my face crushing as I remember what he does and how we can't do anything about it.
"I told you, we should've gone to Mamma's house." He smiles causing me to laugh.