Baby Scars (Ashley Purdy)

Sleep Tight

I laugh sipping my seltzer water looking at the clock again. 10pm. I am currently 9 months pregnant.. and my due date was tomorrow. I was hoping the baby would be one of those babies that came exactly at 12. But I didn't feel any sign of pain. In fact, I didn't feel anything.

Ashley was telling CC this story about his first time having sex and it was hard to resist laughing. My weasing laughter filled the room along with Ashley's slight chuckles and CC's laughing fit. Before I knew it, I was on the ground crying/laughing and Ashley kept asking me to get up. I calm myself down and get up sitting on his lap and I kiss him softly. "Scar.. did you pee?"CC asks. I look at him weirdly and look down. A puddle of slimy clear water soaked into the carpet. Ashley's eyes widen "Baby.. your water broke!"He screams and rushes me to the car. I was so unclear of the situation still having a few giggles about Ashley's story. I came to realization that I was in labor but, I didn't feel anything. I felt like I was really fat. I didn't feel a baby inside me at all. Not to mention I had no pain.

We were already at the hospital, in fact rushing inside when I lost my thought and Ashley was frantically rushing me inside "SOMEONE HELP MY GIRLFRIEND IS IN LABOR!"He screams and they take me and put me in a wheelchair. I look around and shake a little. I hate hospitals. The nurse lays me down and she puts a glove on and feels around my area. "Doc, I can't tell for her.."She sighs and the doctor does it. "Well thats wierd.."She says. At this point my heart was racing. "What do you mean?!"I cry out in complete scarce. Was my baby going to be a mental baby? I mean, I wouldn't care but I just want a healthy baby. "We're gonna have to perform a C-section."The doctor said. I gulp and nodd. Ashley started shaking and nodded and they numb me with morphine.

I watched them pull out the baby. My eyes widen at the baby's skin color was light blue. The abilicle cord wrapped around its neck. I tear up holding my mouth and tears stream down my face. My first baby.. my only child. is dead. Ashley quickly pulls me into a hug. His face was blank and as white as a ghost. He was biting on his bottom lip to stop the crying and he just rubs my back as I cried my eyes out. I sniffle and cry harder as he tries his best to stay strong for me. "Scarlett, we can get through this okay?"He asks.  I nodd crying harder and I rub my eyes. That.. dead child.. is still my baby. I push him off a little and I look at the light blue baby. We would of had a baby girl.. I could of named her Luna.. like my grandmothers name. I touch her cheek and she was still warm. Ashley hugs me and kisses my cheek and kisses the baby's cheek.

The funeral was bright and vibrant.. Ashley and I wanted to make sure it wasn't a depressing video like other ones. We wanted it to be something different. I wore a light purple shirt and leggings with flats. He wore a blue shirt with jeans and boots. I held his hand tightly as we looked at her tiny casket. We dressed her in a white dress with a little white booties. It was the dress we were gonna take her home in. I lay my head on Ashley's shoulder sniffling as people walked up placing stuffed animals in her casket surrounding her. Andy placed a boquet of small sunflowers on top of her casket once it closed and we all walked out to the cemetery where we were going to bury her in a short few minutes. The men placed her casket in the hole and we stood there for a few minutes watching before walking away. Exept for Ashley and I. We watched them bury her until the last speck of dirt. They layed grass seed and flower seats down and I laid down a little bunny. Ashley hugs me tightly kissing the top of my forehead. "Let's go home baby.."He whispers and I nodd following him to the car.