Submitting

Committing

A man of mid-twenties, always well-dressed, doesn't talk much, has a well versed rule book of supposed gentlemanly etiquettes, traditionalist, misogynistic. Sadistic. Vile. Repulsive. Pathetic. Liar. Psychopath. 

I stepped further into the room but didn't let go of the door as I stared in horror at what laid in front of me.  A wooden desk and a matching chair placed with the intention of receiving the perfect view of the bathroom. I couldn't look at it any more and averted my eyes to the...thing that I never doubted to be anything but a mirror. 

The toilet, the bath, the shower, the whole area in view for his unnamed pleasures. He enjoyed my unsuspicious mind and trifled with it. I hadn't given it much thought, but Dimitri never tried anything extreme physical with me for which I was thankful but now that I am on the other side, I feel nothing but immensely violated. 

How many times had he seen me naked? How many times has he enjoyed the view?

He was old school indeed but his values not right. Licentious  and perverted. 

I looked away again and stared at the desk from afar. Half of me wanted to go and inspect, the other half wanted to break the mirror and everything else I could find my hands on. Anger brewed inside me like an untamed beast, something I don't feel very often. An unacquainted and unfamiliar feeling not under my control.

Hot tears gushed down my eyes and I breathed heavily, suppressing the angry scream that wanted to not give a shit about being found out in this forbidden and hidden den.  Dimitri didn't fail to surprise me once again. Or rather shock. So many secrets, so many unsaid deeds and the forceful hand pushing my head into the mud, blinding me always from the things that goes on behind my back.

I walked out of the room and tried my hardest to not slam the door shut and instead rushed towards the next door I could get my hands on and swung it open without any hesitation only to be slightly disappointed at the lack of anything distracting and massively relieved to find a completely empty room. I half-heartedly hoped for the rest of the rooms to be harmless as well but of course with the exception of finding Liza. It would make things so much easier if I knew she was near, and I could take her out of here as soon as I could.  

The rest of the doors turned out to b harmless as well, making me wonder why he had so many empty rooms to begin with. Perhaps they were unfinished or again used for something beyond my imagination. 

My hand twisted the knob on the last door at the end of the long hallway as I tried to ignore the voice in my head that angrily spoke to me about doing things that would jeopardize the whole plan which has turned out to be successful so far. It was not the time to act foolishly. I had things to accomplish and do it right. 

The door opened as easily as the rest of them but not as empty as I hoped it would be. 

Another window, a smaller one this time with a not so clear view was placed facing my room. The view was clouded by what seemed like a translucent picture. A painting disguised as another one of his spying devices. 

I wasn't surprised this time and actually expected something similar. If he used one for the bathroom then of course he would do the same for the room I was kept in. But the thing that did confuse me was the single mattress placed on the floor beside the door in the average sized room. No bed spread, no pillows, just a thin blanket which seemed to be smaller than the bedding itself. 

The room has been lived in. 

The strong sense of hopeful wish didn't make me think that perhaps it was Dimitri who used it for his comfortable accommodation. I was really placing my bets on Liza being here and firmly believing that she was closer to me than I thought she was. This kind of behaviour, this hopefulness, can be a driving force indeed but if it turns out to be false then the disappointment can have shattering consequences. I was hanging on a thin string, one last tug and I would fall. I knew I would. 

As scary as the unfavourable outcome seemed, I wanted to know the reality still. It was the only way of being sure and getting closer to know Liza's whereabouts. I knew Dimitri has her, I just need to know where and by the end of tonight I will have some sort of answer. 

Without wasting any more time I shut the door behind me, leaving the room be just the way it was since there was nothing else in there. 

A determined deep breath and an exhalation of the same later I looked at the entrance of the hallway. I have made this far, I can do the rest. My mind was making silent calculations as I decided it was best to make it as quick as possible because there was no telling of the time for their surprise visits to the room if they did make any. At the same time I realized that if Dimitri wasn't up here then he definitely was downstairs. I have been negligently swinging the door opens up here without giving it any prior thought. Dimitri could have been behind one of those doors and I would have been instantly caught red-handed and helpless without any backup or weapon. Luck seemed too generous today. 

I passed one last glance to the door behind which the bathroom spying entrapment laid. There wasn't much I could do about it. The compulsion I had to do was feign obliviousness to the actuality and pretend even if I was disgusted by the very thought of it. If things go right tonight then an act would have to begin which was anything but preferable to me but him. 

I will get out of here even if it meant committing something I didn't yet know nor want to think about any further.