Leprechaun (Niall Horan x reader)

Same Mistakes

A few days had gone by and I mostly just sat in my room. The boys were leaving in four days to continue the tour, and I still hadn't had a conversation about whether I would be joining them yet.

I basically woke up,
Had breakfast,
Visited Sam,
Locked myself in my room,
Didn't talk,
Had lunch/ or usually didn't,
Visited Sam,
Avoided the band,
Locked myself in my room,
Had dinner,
Went to sleep.

Well, sleep is a loose term. Like, I went to bed, but I didn't sleep per say. More like, I cried myself dry and thought about everything instead of sleeping. I actually hadn't slept since he fell into a coma, and it had begun to show. I barely ate, I barely talked, there were permanent dark bags beneath my eyes, and I never answered my phone. Everyone became worried about me, but I didn't care. They should be worried about my brother, not me. They should be worried about me since I was the one who had put him in this state, and made it worse by leaving him for months.

The guilt twisted in my stomach and I stumbled towards the toilet. Not again. I heard a knock at the door.

"It's open." I squeezed out a few words before I began to puke my guts out. The door squeaked open, and Niall walked into the door. He saw me kneeled over the toilet and rushed to my side asking if I was alright. I barfed in response. How disgusting. Of course he had to be right here as soon as I decided to, well, you know.

Once I had stopped, I washed my face and changed my top, and went out to face him. He was perched on the edge of my bed so awkwardly but moved over for me when he noticed me.

"Y/n, are you ok?" Hmm? How should I answer that. The regular 'I'm fine?' or how about 'great' or a sarcastic 'why should I be' or maybe just:

"No."

Niall's POV

As she sat down beside me I noticed the dark circles under her eyes. Y/n's beautiful bright compaction was gone, leaving a frail outline of herself. She was different. Not just her exterior, but I could sense a change in her personality too. It tugged at my heartstrings, and for a minute I thought about joining her previous puke fest. No thank you. Her features were darker and turned down. The previous spark in her eyes was dull. All of the glow and warmth she had was suddenly gone. I just wanted to hug her and love her better, but I knew she needed more than that. But I was willing to do anything to help. Anything to see her smile again.

"Y/n, are you ok?" I asked her the simple question, but I feared the answer. She looked deep in thought before answering with a frightening word.

"No."

I didn't have words. I didn't know what to say. Instead of responding, I just hugged her. I squeezed so tight, but she didn't let go. She started shaking, and I realized she was crying. The eerie silence was quickly drowned out by dozens of voices coming from the hall. The boys. She pulled away, her face drenched in tears. Her eyes were red and puffy again, but she still looked beautiful. No. Now is not the time.

"You go. I'll be out in a moment." She told me as she wiped her eyes, and stood up. I gave a tiny nod and left the room.

Harry's POV

For the past few days, I had been trying to think of what to say. What do you say when your girlfriend loses- no- he's not dead. Yet. I felt so useless. Worst boyfriend ever. I haven't even asked her to come back on tour with us. I wanted her to come. Maybe it would help her feel better, or stop thinking about Sam.

I climbed the stairs to her room with the other boys. Niall exited her room and told us she'd be out in a minute. I just shook my head and walked to the door. Gently tapping the frame and calling her name, I tried to build myself up to see her.

"Come in." A small voice interrupted my thoughts. I took a deep breath and entered the sullen room.

y/n's POV

I pulled on my ash coloured hoodie and let him in. I took Harry's hand and led him to the bed. We sat down, but I didn't let go of his hand. His grasp tightened and I laid my head on his chest.

"So.. Y/n." I felt his heartbeat quicken. I mumbled a yes.

Niall's POV

I was hesitant to let Harry enter, but I respected y/n's privacy. The boys and I went downstairs, and talked about nothing and everything. We had been chatting for a while when I suddenly heard a yell from upstairs. Then a door slam. Then we saw y/n rush down the stairs, grab her jacket, and leave the house. Her face was contorted in anguish, frustration, anger... What had Harry said? I got up to chase y/n but Louis grabbed my arm and shook his head.

"She needs space, Ni" I felt like yelling. Instead I went to check on Harry. As I neared the room I heard soft crying. I gently pushed the door open, and saw Harry, face in hands, sitting on y/n's mattress. He looked up at me with regret in his eyes.

"I can't do anything right Niall. I'm sorry y/n, I'm so so sorry." He continued to sob.

"That's not true. Harry, you're a good person, anything that happened isn't your fault." He shook his head at me. "You can tell me."

Hours later

Y/n still hadn't come back, and I was beginning to worry. Not beginning, very worried. Harry had explained the reason for her outburst, and I felt horrible. Harry had asked her to come back on tour with us, but she had declined. In the heat of the moment Harry had gotten defensive, saying 'It won't do you any good to sit on your ass pretending he'll wake up'. Of course he hadn't meant it, but she left before he could apologize. Nobody blamed him, including her parents, but he was still filled with extreme guilt.

She could be anywhere, I need to find her. Once again, the urge to scream and break things entered my mind. I shook it off, knowing I had to be cool for everyone. I glanced around the room. Louis was trying to call her, her parents were trying to calm an upset Harry, Zayn was swearing in the corner, and Liam was making some herbal tea to calm everyone. I made up my mind, and walked to the front door. I grabbed my keys and hoodie, and left before anyone could stop me. I would find her.

A/n!!
hey y'all sorry I haven't been posting frequently! I've been away a few times and didn't have the emotions for writing it. Until a few days ago... (I know I know very mysterious) what I mean by that is I randomly st  are ted to feel depressed and got inspired to write these chapters. I've written three so I can post regularly hopefully. They are somewhat short tho sorry. This chapter was exceptionally sad for me to write and I actually began typing and sobbing. I wrote a text to my friend and it's actually rather funny:

Y'all ever just write a fanfic but then start writing some crap and it keeps pouring out of you and then you make up ideas in the spot and your writing from your own experience and emotions and then suddenly that intense scene makes you start to cry because you are and so now your typing furiously and bawling while writing some random stuff you just made up and then your parents call you down for dinner but your to busy dying inside so you have to stop your writing spree and then you can't get back into it after? Cause I definitely haven't before

so yeah that's basically my life! Have fun with these mildly depressing chapters (the last ones better I think) hope y'all enjoy them, and thanks for commenting, liking it, and reading.