Nowhere In Particular // H.S.

Thirteen: "I'm falling for your eyes."

"I kissed a boy," I say quickly, spewing out the words the moment the phone stops ringing. "Well, I kissed Harry... that's his name, I kissed him."

It's silent on the other side but I know she's there because I can hear her breathing.

"Did you hear me?" I ask loudly, unsure of why it's taking her so long to respond. She's not normally one to accept such news so silently. I was expecting something more of a scream, or an excited laugh... but instead it's dead quiet. "I kissed a boy."

"Greta," she puffs out. "Are you serious right now? You've talked to me once this week after running away without any notice and this is what you have to say to me... that you kissed a boy named Harry?"

"You don't understand-," I begin again, but she cuts me off before I can explain anymore.

"You're right," her voice changes slightly, its louder and even more annoyed sounding. "I don't understand. I have no clue what is going on with you and I can't even begin to decipher it since you're MIA with some boy you barely know. I'm stressed out, Greta. Your mom is harassing me about where you are but I have no idea, my dad is trying to buy me out of some missed meet up from a month ago and my best friend is fucking prancing around without a care in the world."

"That isn't true," I shake my head, the cord of the phone rocking back and forth quickly. "I didn't want to run away... well I did, but it wasn't my first choice or anything. It's not that simple."

She's quiet again and I'm guessing she's thinking about everything she just said. I don't blame her for being upset with me. There is valid reasoning for it. But there is also valid reasoning for me to be a little upset with her and not fully sympathetic at her distress.

Laurel is not one to hide how she's feeling. You don't even have to ask her for her to tell you. It's not that she's searching for attention or even sympathy in most cases. She just wants you to know how she feels. She doesn't want there to be any gray area.

I admire this about her but I have a difficult time doing it myself. Even if she is my absolute best friend I don't always tell her how I feel, which I know gets on her nerves.

"I'm just struggling to understand," she sighs out. "All of this. And I'm a little scared if I'm being honest, Greta. I have no idea if you're okay or still alive half the time and you refuse to turn on your god damn phone... where are you calling from anyways?"

"A pay phone."

"Why?"

"Because," I say shortly, not wanting to explain the real reasoning to her.

Laurel's smart, in every sense of the word and she's known me far too long for much to slip past her. It amazes me how well she can know what is going on in my mind when you consider how different we are.

"You don't want me to know where you are," she answers for me. "That's why you're calling from a pay phone."

"That isn't-,"

"Greta, it's whatever," she stops me before I can continue. "You don't need to lie to me. That isn't going to help anything right now. In fact, if anything we need less lying. I just want to know you're okay is all. It's hard not seeing you."

I nod my head, staying silent. I've found the more I try not to think about it the easier it is not to miss her.

It's different for us, our experience of me being away. I'm on this new adventure in my life, with a completely new person, experiencing vastly different things. It's all new and exciting. Everything is the same as it was before for her. The only thing that's different is I'm not there with her. Maybe it's selfish of me to think this but I don't think Laurel fully knows what to do without me. We've always completed things for each other.