Refracted

- - 34 - -

The room was quite dark, pitch black compared to the White Room. All I could make out was a muscular figure sat at a table in the centre of the room. Cautiously, I went over to them and sat down on the opposite chair.

"Hello, Verity." The voice was familiar but I was surprised at the owner. Why him?

"Juan."

I hesitated. Lucas had given no indication as to the purpose of this interaction. Shifting uncomfortably in my chair, I hoped that Juan would take the lead and that he wouldn't notice my squirming in the process. He didn't take the lead and we remained in silence.

"Soooo-" I began, but he quickly interrupted me.

"Are you one of them now?" He demanded. I sensed the immediate anger in his voice and winced.

My instinct was to deny it but then I would be lying, wouldn't I?

"Juan, I..."

"How could you do this to us?!" He shouted; the pain in his voice was reaching an alarming amount. "We took you in! We cared for you! And this is how you repay us?!"

I didn't know what to say. My emotions were all jumbled up and I couldn't define any of them. Suddenly, Juan's silhouette stood up and lurched forwards but the rattling of chains held him back.

"You see these chains? They think I am a risk! I am treated like an animal! But I'd take that any day over you, you traitorous-"

Some scientists rushed in and the lights flicked on, burning my eyes. They were dressed in the same secure gear as when I first arrived here, except this time they ignored me. Instead, Juan was fought against and pushed back down into his seat. His ragged breaths didn't cease though and all the while he stared at me. I felt naked and like his eyes were piercing my soul or brain or something. It was like Juan had attached onto me and in some ways he would never let go. The betrayal he had felt as the product of my actions would never be fixed and his feelings towards me could never be improved. Today I had lost one good friend for definite but the intense nausea in the pit of my stomach told me that the number would soon rise, if it hadn't already.

I remembered Harleen's naivety and her admiration towards my honourable actions on that day. Everything she thought I had done was a lie, not at all my intentions but some part in Lucas' master plan. We were all just pawns in Lucas' strive for power, test subjects in a developing project. We weren't even treated like people, no one saw us. We were invisible to anyone outside of the facility; we could give neither hope nor inspiration to anyone whether the purpose be rebellion or obedience. We had outlived our usefulness.

I felt exactly how I did all those years ago in my original facility. The facility that now only existed under a pile of rubble in Zyphia. It was gone, all gone. For a moment, I felt a fraction of Juan's pain and it was worse than anything I had experienced yet. Because this pain was not the cause of someone else's actions, but my own. If we didn't rebel, then there would be no cause for Project Refracted, for the facilities, for a rebellion, for the destruction of Zyphia.

The United Nations government was way too powerful for us, and it was intelligent and predicted all our moves way before we had even considered them. Any battle we attempted to fight was a losing one and what was the point? More casualties? Death? Imprisonments in more torturous facilities? There was no point. We didn't have to agree with the government but if we could just live by them, then there would be peace.

The scientists dragged Juan out after the room after he appeared to calm down. He released his vicious gaze on me and I didn't dare to look at him again. I never wanted to meet any of the former Resistance members again. I never wanted to feel that shame again.

Once the scientists had left, Lucas walked in. He lacked his usual grin and was actually quite sombre as he replaced Juan in the opposite chair.

"Do you understand now?" He asked.

"Understand what?"

"Why I arranged this to happen? Why I chose Juan for you to meet?"

"Why?"

"You tell me."

I was growing tired of his games; I didn't want to guess anymore.

"Either tell me or don't, I don't care, but I'm sick of the guessing games," I retorted.

He acquiesced.

"When we were in the compound, Juan always struck me as being very strong about his feelings towards the government. I always knew that he could never be cured but you, Verity, you're different. The world isn't so black and white to you. When I announced my false intentions with the NukeFusions, naturally, people were shocked but they soon got on board. But the difference with Juan was that he wasn't even hesitant; he saw the destruction as positive, another tool to bring down the government. But you, you always felt uneasy about the NukeFusions and you probably resented them. I watched your reactions carefully. I even saw through cameras when Elyse told you in the infirmary that the interception had failed. You appeared dismayed but I saw what Elyse missed: the flicker of joy at the NukeFusions not being ours."

"I would rather a force opposing the government had them, than you," I spat out. Immediately, I regretted my words though. My outburst would cause me far more punishment than anything else had done.

"Perhaps," Lucas replied calmly. "I can see you are shocked at my reply but I would rather you be honest with me than not. Besides, you are no longer a threat to the government, you just have to realise that. The point is, your initial reaction was one of happiness as you thought that the chaos had been averted."

"Which it hadn't," I interrupted. "You only used them to blow up the entire district!"

"Also true," he acknowledged, "but you didn't know that at the time. You couldn't be sure of the government's intentions, just the Resistance's."

I guessed that was true. I had my suspicions about Lucas but never would I have imagined that everything would turn out like this.

"What's the point though? Why do you so desperately need me to be 'cured'? Why me?"

He hesitated now and I could see him carefully choosing his words.

"You do have a disease, Verity. Not a physical one but a mental one. Before you came here, you were damaged and it wasn't your fault. Your actions and beliefs were the product or our father's. His disloyalty was projected onto you and you were impressionable as a child. You absorbed anything he said and it all eventually compiled into the disease you have now. But imagine what it would be like if you were cured. Your mind would be clear to choose what you believe and you could be free to act as you wish."

"But I wouldn't be free, would I? I wouldn't get to choose because I would be forced to support the government."

I stood up to leave and surprisingly Lucas didn't stop me, he just carried on talking as if nothing had happened.

"I said before you were in the process of being cured and I believe that now you are. The tests are only confirmation. But think about it, after your meeting with Juan, how did you feel? Did you feel like you wanted to go and yell how much you love the Higher Authority? Did you want to kiss a VISOR? Of course not, your feelings are very mixed now, Verity but they are no longer influenced by the father of our childhood. I successfully managed to break you down to your core, which I understand was an impossibly painful process, but then I stopped. You are the only one building yourself back up again. Now I'll be honest, if you choose to oppose us, I can't let you leave  but that would be your decision. And there will be no pretence in the final test, your opinions in everything will be clear. But they will be yours."

Slowly, I stopped walking away and sat back down again. I didn't like everything Lucas was saying but it was the truth. My interactions with people had influenced my options but I essentially chose them. The White Room was horrific but I sped up the process.

"You don't have to be devoted to the government to live by us, Verity. You just have to choose us over them."

Lucas' message was now clear. Regardless of our motives, it was all just a game and the time had come to choose sides.